26 August—Will Rogers observed, “Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.” And Groucho Marx quipped, “All people are born alike—except Republicans and Democrats.” So here’s more right buttock-left buttock counterpoint. And please forgive any typos—it’s hard to proofread through tears:

“The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation’s history. I mean in this country’s history. But we all lived in this century. I didn’t live in this century.”—Dan Quayle

“I’ve now been in 57 states—I think one left to go.”—Barack Obama

“Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?”—George W. Bush

“They don’t call me Tyrannosaurus Sex for nothing.”—Ted Kennedy

“Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”—George W. Bush

“I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American [Barack Obama] who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”—Joe Biden

“Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.”—Dan Quayle

“We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it, away from the fog of the controversy.”—Nancy Pelosi

“There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again.”—George W. Bush

“My fear is that the whole island [Guam] will become so overly populated [with American soldiers] that it will tip over and capsize.”—Hank Johnson [incumbent Georgia Democrat congressman]

“We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we’ve had one under Obama.”—Rudolph Giuliani

“The attractive lady whom I had only recently been introduced to [Donna Rice] dropped into my lap. . . . I chose not to dump her off.”—Gary Hart

“I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.”—Dan Quayle

“I actually did vote for the $87 billion, before I voted against it.”—John Kerry

“I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman.”—Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Stand up, Chuck, let ’em see ya”—Joe Biden [to wheelchair-bound Missouri state Senator Chuck Graham]

“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.”—Ronald Reagan

“What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?”—Marion Barry

“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”—Dan Quayle

“Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.”—Joe Biden

“I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”—Dan Quayle

“I may be Irish but I’m not stupid.”—Joe Biden