6 November—Yesterday Russell Brand was convicted in London of raping one woman and sexually assaulting three others and now is being investigated for another two rapes. So the obvious question is: Who the hell is Russell Brand?

And just a reminder: Donald Trump found himself in court for (among many other things in his litigious curriculum vitae) forcing himself on Jean Carroll. But thanks to New York’s statute of limitations he wasn’t charged with rape or sexual assault. In fact, he wasn’t charged with any crime. Rather, he was sued for civil damages—i.e., money—and found liable for forced digital—rather than penile—penetration—commonly known as a finger fuck—and consequent defamation for denying it.

So losers in civil court are found liable but not convicted while losers in criminal court are convicted and found guilty.

And Donald Trump was convicted and found guilty of 34 felony counts of falsifying business records in the first degree, making him a convicted criminal. In all honesty, however, even though Trump certainly is an unrepentant big-time criminal and deserves to spend the rest of his life behind bars (or, even better, on a chain gang), the felonies should have been charged as misdemeanors—if they should have been charged at all.

Because you don’t have to be a crook to falsify records and tax returns—intentionally or otherwise. Even the most honest, law-abiding, saintly—and diligent—business owners, accountants, and personal taxpayers do it in some degree . . .