3 July—The big non-news today is that last night, through the good offices of left-wing television on this side of the pond, Endeavour, the third fascicle of the United Kingdom’s lucrative Inspector Morse franchise, was mercifully put out of our misery after ten painful seasons. The euthanasia was clumsily accomplished—make that perpetrated—through the infusion/intrusion of an embarrassingly inept deus ex machina that loosened more ends than it tied up.

But there may just have been a clever reason for that Mickey Mouse dramaturgy. Because it’s entirely possible the late Morse—who had been killed off by author Colin Dexter specifically to end the original series—and/or other principal characters from all three series to be resurrected for yet another sheaf of fascicles ad infinitum. Why not? They’ll all be profitable.

In fact, don’t be surprised if actor John Thaw, Dexter’s choice to be TV’s original Chief Inspector Morse, who himself died not long after the original series ended before he could resurrect the character, comes back through the digital magic of artificial intelligence as Morse between Endeavour and Inspector Morse.

Artificial intelligence could also bring John Thaw back as Morse in the army, Morse at university, Morse at grammar school, Morse at primary school, Morse at the crèche (British nursery school), or Morse in utero.

The possibilities of spin-offs with the plethora of Morse-related characters are infinite. The likelihood? Who knows? But to repeat, why not? They’ll all be profitable.

So now for more non-news of equal non-moment to the crap that keeps pumping profits into TV. Here’s a listing of monthly observances for July that had it not been for El Liberalissimo you would have read on the first. I hope the delayed publication hasn’t ruined anybody’s holiday. Really?

Dog House Repairs Month
Bank Account Bonus Month
Beans Month
Bereaved Parents Awareness Month
Bioterrorism/Disaster Education and Awareness Month
Cord Blood Awareness Month
Corn Month
Eggplant Month
Family Golf Month
Fragile X Awareness Month (genetic disorder)
French-American Heritage Month
Global Enterprise Agility Month
Good Care Month
Hemochromatosis Screening And Awareness Month
Herbal/Prescription Interaction Awareness Month
Hitchhiking Month
Independent Retailer Month
International Group B Strep Awareness Month
International Women with Alopecia Month
International Zine Month
Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month
Lasagna Awareness Month (hard not to be aware of lasagna)
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Baked Beans Month
National Bison Month
National Blueberry Month
National Cell Phone Courtesy Month
National Child-Centered Divorce Month
National Cleft and Craniofacial Awareness and Prevention Month
National Contract Sewing Month
National Culinary Arts Month
National Family Reunion Month
National Grilling Month
National Hemp Month
National Horseradish Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
National Lost Pet Prevention Month (responsible people never lose pets)
National Make A Difference to Children Month
National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month
National Pet Hydration Awareness Month
National Picnic Month
National Watermelon Month
Sarcoma Awareness Month
Smart Irrigation Month
Social Wellness Month
UV Safety Awareness Month
Wild About Wildlife Month
World Watercolor Month