19 June—In observance of Juneteenth The Monitor staff should be taking a paid day off, like the people—mostly in the public sector—a unanimous Senate and all but 14 Representatives (all Republicans) pandered to in 2021when Joe Biden signed the bill making it a federal holiday, following a campaign promise of Donald Trump a year earlier. But nobody ever pays us, so here we are.

Now, of course, some people are complaining that Juneteenth is becoming too commercialized. Well, not that it matters, but why should Juneteenth be any different from other holidays?

It must be noted, too, that Julius and Ethel Rosenberg were executed on Juneteenth 1953, at which time Juneteenth was officially observed—but not by a day off—only in Texas. They were the only American civilians executed for espionage during the cold war.

Getting on, then, today is the second day of what promises to be a heatwave, with temperatures approaching 100 degrees Fahrenheit. It may or may not be a function of global warming, but that’s irrelevant in the circumstance. What’s relevant is keeping cool. And The Monitor has the easiest way to do it: Simply reduce the temperature.

And that’s as easy done as said: All you have to do is convert degrees Fahrenheit to degrees Celsius. You learned how to do that in kindergarten, so how difficult can it be? You simply take the Fahrenheit temperature, subtract 32, and divide it by 1.8. The formula is (F-32)÷1.8=C.

Or you can subtract 32 from the Fahrenheit temperature, multiply the difference by five, and divide it by 9. The formula that way is (F-32)x5/9=C. You can confirm the accuracy of the formula by converting the freezing and boiling points of water:

The freezing point of water in Fahrenheit degrees is 32. So 32-32=0, 0÷1.8=0. Or 32-32=0, 0x5=0, 0÷9=0. And 0 is indeed the freezing point of water on the Celsius scale.

(You’ve got to love those zeroes, by the way. While they’re considered whole numbers, they’re actually neutral integers because they have neither positive nor negative value. Kind of like nonpartisan commentators and authorities. Yeah, right. Can’t live without zeroes, anyway.)

On the other end, the boiling point of water in Fahrenheit degrees is 212. So 212-32=180, 180÷1.8=100. Or 212-32=180, 180×5=900, 900÷9=100. And, sure enough, 100 is the boiling point of water on the Celsius scale.

Back to Junehoteenth, then, the 100 degrees Fahrenheit that you’re sweltering in, minus 32, divided by 1.8 becomes a chilly 37.777 degrees Celsius. So call it 38 degrees and bundle up . . .