16 March—Yes, incredible as it may seem, the Scotties in the dramatic new philosophical quotation panel at the top of the sidebar (or whatever it’s called on a cellphone screen) are really Hope and Glory. The two little bitches were good enough to hold still last night for the split second required to digitally immortalize them. Well, only just. And almost. That’s why the new philosophical quotation panel is dramatic.

Counting our blessings, then, here’s their theme song, “Land of Hope and Glory,” played by an accordion band, with percussion obbligato, of course. The music, if you need reminding, is Sir Edward Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1.” And that’s all you want to know.

If, however, you’d like to revisit Dame Clara Butt’s pre-Great War vocal rendition and a more recent performance by eight pianists at four Steinway Ds, with triple-timpani obbligato (of course), just click on this link: America needs a new national anthem.

And America really does need a new national anthem . . .