3 November—Having moved time back this morning without benefit of a fictional machine or science—just politics—it’s time to move on. And stay in standard time. Like the United States Electoral College, daylight saving time has outlived its usefulness and therefore should be laid to rest. Period.

Time marches on, then. No doubt about it. But now you wonder who the attending proctologist is for the Trump campaign. If it doesn’t have a proctologist, it should. Because there are so many sick assholes associated with it. The latest hemorrhoids to pop up between the Orange Jesus’s execrable buttocks are a Fox News reader called Jesse Watters and a conservative podcaster called Charlie Kirk.

A few days ago, you’ll recall, the Harris-Walz campaign put out a commercial in which, among other things, Julia Roberts encouraged women to vote for Kamala Harris even if their husbands were backing Trump. The actress reminded—assured—women, “You can vote any way you want. And no one will ever know.” That’s the purpose and beauty of the secret ballot, after all. (It may not be the case with absentee ballots that are filled out in the presence of another person, of course, but that’s another matter.)

Where the hell does anybody get off telling a wife she can disobey or lie to a husband? That’s not only irresponsible, it’s positively seditious.

So Watters excreted that if he discovered his wife “was going to the voting booth and pulling the lever for Harris, that’s the same thing as having an affair.” And it’s worth noting that Watters knows whereof he speaks because the sick asshole’s first wife divorced him during his affair with a Fox producer.

(And it’s worth asking, are there still voting machines with levers? And curtains?)

And Kirk, an alleged evangelical Christian and known serial liar, opined that the very thought of a wife not voting to please her lord and master—and thus undermining his presumptive (and presumptuous) authority—was “nauseating.” Here’s how he rationalized it to Megyn Kelly: “I think it’s so gross. I think it’s so nauseating where this wife is wearing the American hat, she’s coming in with her sweet husband who probably works his tail off to make sure that she can go you know and have a nice life and provide to the family, and then she lies to him, saying, ‘Oh, yeah, I’m gonna vote for Trump,’ and then she votes for Kamala Harris as her little secret in the voting booth.”

Are Watters and Kirk a pair of sick assholes or what?

Trump’s own anal reaction is rather tempered in the circumstance: “I’m so disappointed at Julia Roberts. She’s going to look back on that and she’s going to cringe. ‘Did I really say that?’ It doesn’t say much for her relationship, but I’m sure she has a great relationship. The wives and the husbands, I don’t think that’s the way they deal. Can you imagine a wife not telling a husband who she’s voting for? Did you ever hear anything like that? Even if you had a horrible—if you had a bad relationship, you’re going to tell your husband. It’s a ridiculous thing. So stupid.”

Yeah, right. Just call the proctologist . . .