7 February—After reading late yesterday that on 6 February 1968 former 34^th president Dwight Eisenhower hit a hole-in-one, I wondered how many other presidents former or sitting also scored aces. Diligent research revealed that no sitting presidents have in fact holed-in-one. But former POTUS 38 Jerry Ford did it on 8 June 1977 and former POTUS 43 George W. Bush did it on 20 March 2019. Not that it matters, but they all were or are Republicans.

Not to be outdone by his less perfect Republican predecessors, Donald Trump has scored so many holes-in-one that nobody remembers the dates. Well, not that many, because Trump claims only seven. But first, even the great Trump is no match for Kim Jong-il, North Korea’s late dictator, with whose son and tyrannical heir, Kim Jong-un, Trump fell in love in 2018. (If you don’t recall that whirlwind December-June romance, Trump himself enthusiastically told the world, “We fell in love.”)

So get this: Back in 1994, at the world-famous Pyongyang Golf Course (the Royal and Ancient of North Korea) in a single round of the very first golf game Father Kim ever played, he shot 11 holes-in-one. Repeat: The very first time Kim Jong-il played golf he shot 11 holes-in-one. And you can bet that a horde of lackeys was on hand to corroborate Kim’s incredible beginner’s luck under pain of death. In that case, though, you wonder why Kim didn’t do better.

Back to Trump, then, like many presidents and others with nothing better to do, he plays a lot of golf. Unlike any presidents and most others, however, he owns 14 and runs five of what he insists are the best golf courses in the world. Of course.

Trump boasts a very impressive 3 handicap, so he’s supposed to give virtually everybody he golfs with loads and loads of strokes. Probably the only things Trump gives away. Even so, he almost never loses. Guess why. But only almost never?

Some years ago Trump told Mark Cuban, a self-made billionaire, that he’d won 18 club championships, according to “Commander in Cheat,” a 2019 bestseller by Rick Reilly, subtitled “How Golf Explains Trump.” Reilly writes that Trump craftily accomplished that by playing the first club championship all by himself whenever he opened a new club. So of course he won. What a guy! In that case, though, you wonder why Kim Jong-trump didn’t drop at least one ace in every solo tournament.

No surprise that Trump cheats—evidently with the help of caddies and Secret Service agents—and lies about scores. That’s known in the right circles as the Trump Bump. He overstates the rank and value of his courses. He intimidates course neighbors. He stiffs contractors. Okay, that’s Trump. But worse yet, he drives carts on the greens. So what else is new?

Reilly writes that at the Winged Foot Golf Club in Westchester County (with a $200,000 initiation fee and $15,000 annual dues)—where Trump is only a member—the caddies got so used to seeing him kick his ball back onto the fairway they nicknamed him “Pelé.”

But you must understand: He’s Donald Trump. He can’t help himself . . .