24 January—We need to congratulate our president. We need to be proud of our president. Because now we have reason to congratulate and be proud of our president. Yes, that is indeed Donald Trump.

These two pictures taken on Monday tell us why. In the top picture Donald, with his reading teacher looking on, looks like he’s actually reading one of the primers on his desk—each one providing instruction on a letter of the alphabet. The bottom picture shows Donald obviously very pleased with himself; so, given the context of the letters on the opened page, it must be that he has mastered the letter F (and lower-case f). We assume he had already mastered A, B, C, D, E, and their lower-case brethren. All on the first day!

Since Donald is holding a big fat pen in his hand and there’s a blank page, we also assume that he was about to practice writing the letter he had just learned. That would have been F (and lower-case f), in case you forgot. May we assume, moreover or however, that in five days Donald has been able to master all the letters to Z (and lower-case z)?