5 June—It looks like Danielle Mailer’s depiction of the moribund Litchfield Hills Road Race won’t be sustaining the alley wall of the Old Village Inn, better known as the Village Restaurant. Is that big news or no news at all? The dreaded Borough of Litchfield Historic District Commission (HDC, a.k.a. taste police) predictably and unanimously denied the ill-conceived, unenthusiastically anticipated project a coveted certificate of appropriateness (COA).

The HDC’s expected denial was made without prejudice doubtless because the owners of the restaurant, one of whom is Litchfield’s esteemed first selectwoman, had notified it that they’d had a change of heart—or at least of mind—and had decided not to allow the topical mural or anything else not in keeping with the historic district.

(On the other hand, a mural depicting South Street’s Tapping Reeve kissing North Street’s Benjamin Tallmadge would presumably be in keeping with the historic district and acceptable to the taste police as well as being politically correct and open-minded—even if probably not historically accurate. Although . . . )

With or without prejudice ultimately affects only legal expenses, since a denial with prejudice could be appealed to the Superior Court anyway. (And, come to think of it, a COA approval could be appealed by an aggrieved neighbor.) And being in keeping with the historic district in all events depends on how the taste police feel about anything at any given moment.

So the real significance of Danielle Mailer’s proposed mural is that it’s not—or wouldn’t be—a mural at all. Danielle was going to create the artwork and then attach it to the Village Restaurant wall. Problem is, however, that’s not a mural. I may be splitting pilpuls and other hairs, but if the paint isn’t applied directly to the wall, the art on the wall simply is not a mural. And that’s all there is to it. So there.

Of course, for any number of practical reasons, not the least of which are portability and consequent marketability, an artist is well advised and better off not painting directly on a wall. For instance, a couple in England can’t be looking forward to coughing up a bloody fortune to remove from one of their exterior walls a Banksy graffito mural that must have cost them a bloodier fortune—because it’s been attracting vandals. Think about it.

But don’t bother thinking about what to call a painting on a ceiling. To some it’s just a ceiling painting or even a misnomered ceiling mural, but to the cognoscenti and pedantic know-it-alls it’s a plafond, which simply means ceiling in French.

Now, a plafond in the Village tap room might be something to think about. And it wouldn’t need a COA. Bien sûr . . .