22 November—The alacrity with which Donald Trump nominated Pam Bondi as his backup attorney general candidate yesterday would lead one to believe that he actually ran Matt Gaetz up the flagpole to see who’d shoot him down (saluting didn’t even come into it) and had Pam hooked to the halyard all along. She is, after all, more experienced and less disreputable than Gaetz. And, of course, she’s unquestionably loyal and subservient to Trump. The once and future president may be a despicable, corrupt, stubborn, autocratic ignoramus, but he’s not stupid.

So yesterday Matt Gaetz withdrew his name from consideration for attorney general. Whatever selflessly noble-sounding reason he gave for doing the right thing is a complete crock. Trump’s other flunkies—and possibly even Trump himself, however grudgingly—must have told Gaetz what to do and promised to kiss his boo-boo.

If that’s the case, though, one wonders why the former Florida congressman had been so quick to resign from the House of Representatives to essentially apply for the AG’s job even before his nomination was announced. That surprised Speaker Mike Johnson. Then again, Johnson may not be in the loop. In all events, none of Trump’s other senior nominees currently serving in either house has resigned before being confirmed for a new job.

On the other hand, aborting the House ethics investigation into Matt Gaetz’s Trumpish sexual antics before even more juicy details made the headlines doubtless also contributed to his premature resignation. But in that case you wonder why the politically weaponized (according to the GOP) Democrat-controlled DOJ had let him off the hook after the FBI investigation.

Of course, poor Gaetz can’t just rescind his resignation from the House of Representatives. His letter to the Speaker made it clear that his resignation was “effective immediately.” And he added for good measure, “I do not intend to take the oath of office for the same office in the 119th Congress to pursue the position of attorney general in the Trump administration.” Whoever wrote that got lost in the syntax.

So even though what had been Gaetz’s seat is currently vacant, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis can’t just automatically appoint Gaetz to fill it, thanks to Article I, Section 2, Clause 4 of the Constitution. Rather, DeSantis, being the executive authority referred to in the Constitution, must order a special election.

Of course, Gaetz has nothing to worry about in a special election. If he chooses to return to the seat he just vacated, he’s certain to be reelected by the same schmucks who sent him to Washington in 2016, 2018, 2020, 2022, and 2024. And his GOP-majority pals in the House may even forget to resume the ethics investigation.

It’s also possible for DeSantis to appoint Gaetz to fill Marco Rubio’s seat in the Senate when Marco makes it through the process to become Secretary of State. His approval is likely because he’s as qualified as Hillary Clinton was and can’t be any worse than Antony Blinken, who came to the job well-qualified, is. Or, just as possible, Trump could give Gaetz another job he’s not qualified for but doesn’t require Senate confirmation.

While Trump wouldn’t hesitate to throw even his most loyal ass kissers under the bus for his own convenience, former Congressman Matt Gaetz probably has nothing to worry about. Unfortunately. And there’s always the lucrative private sector. Like Fox News.

Trump and his fair field full of flunkies have made it clear that his administration will exact revenge on any and all people and institutions the lord and master doesn’t like. If that’s not weaponization of government, what is? And the Department of Justice is in the vanguard of government agencies to do the dirtiest.

And don’t for one minute think that Attorney General Bondi will be any less obnoxious and objectionable than Matt Gaetz in carrying out Trump’s primary mission.

So now you must be wondering, what about Pete Hegseth for Secretary of Defense? The important thing about Pete is that not only is he a loyal Trump ass kisser, he’s an accused sexual predator who paid off his prey to keep her mouth shut just like the ass he kisses has done. Forget that Pete’s also unqualified for the job. That’s totally irrelevant to Trump. In fact, given that Donald Trump himself is unqualified for any honest job, it’s a positive . . .