10 April—Donald Trump’s dynamic duo of skilled diplomats has just been dispatched to Pakistan to undo the damage they’d wreaked in negotiations with Iran before Trump and Israel prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu decided to launch their ill-considered, ill-conceived, blatantly illegal non-war bombing of Iran and Lebanon to kill Persian civilization, never to have it brought back again if the crazy bastards didn’t open the fuckin’ Strait of Hormuz, in Trump’s tactful and elegant words, after the initial bomb runs.

(One wonders if there any formal, executed instruments detailing the terms of the alleged U.S.-Iran-Israel ceasefire or if it’s just a matter of he-said-she-said. Or, these days, he-said-he-said; she-said-she-said; they-said-they-said; and combinations thereof ad nauseam.)

Trump’s dynamic diplomatic duo, if you didn’t know, comprises his son-in-law Jared Kushner and his special envoy to the Middle East Steve Witkoff. Jared’s and Steve’s credentials for negotiating with the decidedly antisemitic—not just anti-Zionist—Iranian regime include that both pretend-diplomats are strongly Zionist Jews and property developers. And by virtue of being Trump’s son-in-law, Jared is also a senior advisor to the president.

To add some (additional) diplomatic competence to the dynamic duo, Trump has installed his vice president JD Vance to head the delegation, thus making it a terrific trio. Although JD supports his master’s support of Israel, he has the advantage of not being, nor ever having been Jewish. In fact, it was from abhorrent atheism that he converted to Roman Catholicism in 2019.

You may recall that at the time of his conversion JD Vance was an allegedly honest bestselling author but not yet an elected official. And, lest you forget, he was a staunch critic of Donald Trump, a “never Trump guy,” calling the orange buffoon—but not all at once—“just another opioid for Middle America, reprehensible, a moral disaster, a cynical asshole like Nixon, unfit for our nation’s highest office” and, of course “America’s Hitler.”

In addition to adopting a popular mainstream way to worship an imaginary deity, JD Vance changed his name a few times. And as his “Hillbilly Elegy: A Memoir of a Family and Culture in Crisis” clearly shows, he’s also an exceptionally gifted writer of fiction. So when you consider that JD is a skilled and successful chameleon and wordsmith, you can well imagine him as an effective diplomat.

The question, then, is, can the talented JD Vance undo all the damage Kushner, Witkoff, Trump, Hegseth, and Netanyahu have done? And the answer is, does it really matter? Haven’t Trump and Hegseth already declared “a capital V military victory by any measure” even though Iran appears to have the upper hand?

In the meantime, the White House damage-control team has dispatched Melania Trump to distract attention from the latest mayhem and corruption her husband is responsible for. And that’s all that matters . . .