Thoughtful valentine gift
12 February—It’s only two days to Valentine’s Day and you surely don’t want to give your significant valentine the same old same old flowers and confections that’ll be gone before you know it. So there still may be time to procure a thoughtful, functional, and enduring gift. Pictured here, then, is a suggestion, courtesy of Sportsman’s Warehouse.
The Heritage Barkeep 22 Long Rifle 3in Cerakote Revolver is made in the good old U.S.A. And as guns go these days, at $149.99 it’s pretty damn inexpensive. It’s a classic six-shooter. Some people may be put off that it’s single-action, requiring the hammer to be cocked for every shot. But it’s Cerakoted with something like the thin-film ceramic stuff you see advertised on the boob tube to protect various parts of cars. And .22 long rifle ammo is about as cheap as you can get, so your valentine won’t have to stint when plinking or defending herself or himself.
If, on the other hand, you think your significant valentine would prefer a semi-automatic pistol with an eight-round magazine (plus one chambered round, of course), the Bersa Thunder 380 Auto (ACP) 3.5in Pistol at $289.99 isn’t a bad buy. It comes here from Argentina, which, like the U.S.A., is ruled by a conservative and eccentric president. It must be said that the .380 ACP (Automatic Colt Pistol) round isn’t quite as powerful as the classic Luger 9mm for which many other pistols are chambered, but the casing is a little shorter, which allows for a slightly more compact firearm.
Bersa also makes a Thunder Plus with a 15-round magazine (plus one chambered round, of course) for about four bills. But that’s verboten in Connecticut (and the Supreme Court isn’t helping), so if your significant valentine lives in the Unconstitution State, forget about it.
Incidentally, both of these thoughtful gifts are available in colors other than pink. But in the circumstance pink is the most appropriate color regardless of your significant valentine’s gender—which must be female or male by presidential ukase. Because until about a century ago pink was considered a masculine color, sort of like red. In the 19th century, in fact, baby boys customarily wore pink and white, while baby girls wore blue and white. And don’t forget, the Virgin Mary is usually pictured wearing baby blue, not pink . . .
