24 July—“Beyond the Fringe,” a four-man comedy revue, was originally staged at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 1960. It came to New York in 1962. Two Oxford men—Dudley Moore and Alan Bennett—and two Cambridge men—Peter Cook and Jonathan Miller—performed an evening of brilliant satire and largely liberal political comment as only the Brits could—and can—do it. At 89, playwright Alan Bennett is the only surviving cast member.

Jonathan Miller, who died almost four years ago at 85, was a physician as well as an author, stage and opera director, actor, and TV host. And he was the only Jew in the Fringe quartet—and a full-blooded one at that. Nobody’s perfect.

But, in perhaps the shortest skit in the revue, Miller’s punchline was, “I’m not really a Jew . . . but I’m Jew-ish; not the whole hog.” In fact, Jonathan Miller was an atheist.

Like me. I’m unmistakably Jew-ish and proud of my heritage. In fact, not only have I never tried to hide it by doing silly things like Christianizing my name (to Montrose or Ross, for instance) or undergoing foreskin restoration, I’ve always enjoyed obtruding my Jewishness because I thrive on belonging to a persecuted minority. You don’t have to be Jewish to be called Mordecai, but it helps.

But the religion part? Forget it. Any religion.

So, to reassure Mrs. Trooper, she has nothing at all to apologize for. It’s flattering to be mistaken for a Jew. And you should see me in a yarmulke—or kippah, as it’s more fashionable to call Jewish skullcaps or beanies these days. But pity poor Norman Jewison, the 97-year-old full-blooded Protestant Canadian movie producer and director. Unlike me, he even looks . . . Whoops, I can’t say that.

On the subject of headwear, it’s not generally known that orthodox Jewish men wear hats in public and orthodox Jewish women wear wigs (sheitels) primarily to hide their horns.

Back in the mid-sixties, before dreaded Chabad Lubavitch invaded England and Japan, I met a Japanese rabbi in England—a full-blooded Japanese guy (as opposed to goy) who had converted from Buddhism to Judaism and, like all converts, took his adopted religion far too seriously. He was doing a degree in theology. Of course. And he loved to rub it in to his non-Japanese coreligionists by telling them, “You no lookie Jewish.” I’m not kidding. But he was. I think.

Then, El Liberalissimo, responding to my sarcastic, largely rhetorical question, “But why does she presume I’m a Jew?” invokes Elizabeth Barrett Browning: “Let me count the ways,” he writes:

Because they can tell by the size of “Jewish brains.” [When my cadaverous remains are dissected, perhaps.]
Because all Rosenbergs are Jewish. Indeed, every Rosenberg I’ve ever known, and I’ve known at least a half dozen, has begun life Jewishy. [He means JewishLy, the adverb, and forgets that Nazi ideologue Alfred Rosenberg, who was hanged as a war criminal in 1946, wasn’t at all Jewish.]
Because of your large vocabulary. [That’s why Jupiter invented thesauri.]
Because you’re always arguing. [Who, me?]
Because in a largely church-going community, you/we are distinct. [So El is Jewish? Who’d a thunk.]
Because you must be related to Julius and Ethel. [Guilt by surname? And Ethel (née Greenglass) wasn’t guilty.]
Because we have many neighbors who have known few if any Jews and are on the lookout. [Litchfield is exceptionally tolerant these days. And most Jews can pass as white anyway.]
Because you weren’t eating pork. [I’m still not. Because I’m a vegetarian. But everybody knows that kosher bacon comes from cows.]