3 April—Incredible and unbelievable as it may seem, Biden and Trump managed to come out ahead in all of yesterday’s presidential primaries. It’s gratifying, however, that a decent number of voters in both major parties chose not to support the guaranteed candidates. For all their principled voting was worth

Of course, it’s no surprise that El Liberalissimo had a problem with The Monitor’s less than enthusiastic—albeit undeniably accurate—passing reference to Joe Biden in yesterday’s disquisition, presumably the mention of Old White Joe’s natural ineptitude. (El probably didn’t care about the implicitly negative allusion to Joe’s running mate.) “Thank you, but I’ll stick with Joe Biden who has done a pretty good job of managing an unmanageable world,” El whined. And likely was serious. Incredible. And, just for the record, the disquisition didn’t endorse anyone anyway.

Evidently El Liberalissimo (inadvertently or intentionally) missed the part about Joe Biden being a nice guy as well as the only person outside of Jesus Christ who can beat Trump.

Irrelevant and surprising as it may be, El continued, “So what would you have done so differently that we might think about electing you?”

Was El being flattering or sarcastic? Or both? In all events, how did William Tecumseh Sherman put it 140 years ago? “If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve.” WTS, while popular up north, knew he’d lose down south; and he wisely preferred retirement.

Then, 56 years ago, Lyndon Johnson, knowing he couldn’t get re-elected because he had picked up his beagle Him by the ears on the White House lawn, assured America, “Accordingly, I shall not seek, and I will not accept, the nomination of my party for another term as your president.”

Both of Johnson’s beagles, siblings Him and Her, children of Beagle the beagle, suffered premature deaths, by the way: Her died at the White House when she was about one-and-a-half after swallowing a stone. Him died at three after being hit by a car on the White House lawn. Not that Johnson gave a damn. And you wonder if anything was done to try to save Her and what a car was doing on the White House lawn. Of course, neither Him nor Her would be an acceptable name for any creature in a Democrat White House today.

In the interest of pedantry, note Sherman’s and Johnson’s use of the modal verbs “shall” and “will.” Sherman and Johnson knew precisely what they were saying. Nobody cares these days, but traditionally “will” when used in the first person conveys obligation, compulsion, or emphasis while “shall” merely implies future intention. Conversely, when used in the second or third person, it’s the other way around.

Getting back to politics, then, your humble Editor-in-Cheap asked El Liberalissimo if his defense of Biden and implicit invitation were an April fool? To which he biliously replied, “I think the next edition of your daily gripe should set forth your platform.”

Daily gripe indeed. It’s El Liberalissimo who gripes. The Monitor merely comments. And platforms are meaningless anyway . . .