5 September—According to Friday’s Republican-American and Chabad Lubavitch of Litchfield County Inc’s website (chabadnw.org, in case you’re interested; it’s not a bad website), since there haven’t been any killings across the street for a couple of months, the local klavern will actually be holding High Holiday services at the Methodist synagogue this season. In fact, according to the website, a sabbath service was to have been held Saturday morning at 10 a.m. That’s an ungodly hour to be out, especially on a day of rest, so I can’t confirm the service actually was held.

You may recall that the Chabad management didn’t show up for the grand opening of its crumbling Litchfield blockbusting campus in June, using the killing in the Cramer & Anderson parking lot as an excuse. Without bothering to notify the few poor schmucks who did show up. But let’s assume that the Chabad management did show up yesterday and will actually show up for the High Holidays

If one is to believe the klavern’s website, this year’s festive Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur season will be the real McCoy, with services and sermons by the goniff momzer kludd-kleagle in the Methodist synagogue starting Monday evening; a shofar performance on the green by the goniff momzer kludd-kleagle; symbolic drowning of sins; and a performance of the Kol Nidre, a traditional Aramaic recitation—not a Hebrew prayer—made famous by Max Bruch’s musical setting. (Bruch wasn’t Jewish, by the way, though he could have passed.)

And the highlight of the festivities is a ceremony, the day before Yom Kippur, called kaporos (kaparot in Sephardic, the currently fashionable Hebrew pronunciation), the torture and murder of chickens. That’s right, chickens are abused, tortured, and killed in the name of the lord. Men twirl roosters over their heads, women twirl hens. Don’t be surprised if the senseless slaughter is perpetrated on the green. Because it’s religious and religions get away with anything.

And then comes Yom Kippur, the dreaded Day of Atonement. Dreaded because the atonement includes fasting and not wearing fancy (or even normal, comfortable) clothing when the observant Jews and Jewesses attend holiday services. In addition to everything that’s not supposed to be done on the sabbath, of course, like driving, cooking, and handling money.

Litchfield’s Chabad klavern certainly has a lot to atone for corporately and severally, but don’t count on its management or parishioners doing the right thing. Ever. The Jewish annual atonement travesty is pretty much like the pro re nata Roman Catholic sacrament of confession: the sinners confess, are shriven, then go right back to what they were confessing about, while promising not to do it again. With the full expectation—and even intention—of doing it again.

And may we expect the Cross of David that at this writing still stands proud atop the decaying Methodist synagogue’s handsome steeple to be there to ring—or blow—in the Jewish new year and bear witness to the meaningless, hypocritical atonement rituals?