18 March—Donald Trump is bloviating, intimidating, vituperating, and dissimulating as usual about his thoroughly illegal non-war of peace in, around, and about Iran even as America’s once friendly and alacritously cooperative allies in NATO have told him, “You broke it, you fix it.” And SICOTUS’s latest candidate for 51st-statehood is Cuba.
An historian has described Adolf Hitler’s administration—more accurately, his totalitarian dictatorship—as “an incoherent mess run by third-rate people.” Not to put too fine a point on it, but any objective observer would be hard-pressed not to describe Donald Trump’s administration—more accurately, his totalitarian dictatorship—as an incoherent mess run by third-rate people. QED in spades.
But Trump has his fans, not only in the man caves, bunkers, and funny farms of the United States but for self-defensive—as well, of course, as offensive—reasons in Israel. And that’s evident in this front page of The Jerusalem Post, a center-right English-language rag, from 1 March.
It’s really a pretty good portrait of Trump, truth be told. But why would the “Vice-President of World Jewish Congress representing Ukraine” join in the adulation? Hasn’t Trump told Ukraine by lack of cooperation, inter alia, to drop dead because President Zelenskyy refuses to kiss his narcissistic ass?
Incidentally, the two other major English-language rags in Israel, Haaretz and The Times of Israel, tend towards the left and would never run such a cover.
In conclusion, then, Jesus Christ!
17 March—Surprise! Incredible as it may seem, Donald Trump is lying. Again. Still. Or—more incredible—maybe not.
Yesterday, the Scumbag-in-Chief of the United States crowed first to his hand-picked Kennedy Center board of flunkies (who were unanimously approving his stratagem to close the formerly highly respected national cultural institution for two years to obfuscate the fact that no respectable performers will perform there as long as Trump is ruining [sic] the show) and then to the press that he had spoken with one of his Oval Office predecessors, who told him he wished that he, the former president, had been the one to bomb Iran.
SICOTUS told the press, “I spoke to one of the former presidents who I actually like. I actually speak to some.” And, according to Trump, the former president lamented, “‘I wish I did what you did.’” Trump naturally refused to specify the former president he actually likes: “I don’t want to say because a member of a party, a member of a party, they have Trump derangement syndrome, but it’s somebody that happens to like me, and I like that person, who’s a smart person . . . [but] I don’t want to get him into trouble.”
Trump actually likes a former president? And a former president actually likes Trump? Really and truly? Sure. But this is St. Patrick’s Day, not April Fool’s Day.
Anyway, Trump did volunteer that the former president who wished he’d bombed Iran isn’t George W. Bush. That’s good because, even though Bush 43 did in fact consider bombing Iran’s nuclear facilities, an aide insists that he and SICOTUS “haven’t been in touch.”
Trump refused to confirm or deny that the regretful non-bomber was Willy Clinton. That’s good because an aide to Slick Willy insists it wasn’t he. (That’s not to say that Trump and Clinton weren’t comparing notes on predatory sex and reminiscing about Jeffrey Epstein.)
Aides to Barack Obama and Joe Biden also insist that their bosses aren’t Trump’s would-like-to-have-been Iran bombers.
On the other hand, let’s give Trump the benefit of the doubt. Can it be possible that among his gifts is necromancy, communication with the dead? True, he tends to boast about gifts he doesn’t have. But for political reasons Trump could be keeping his necromancing ability in the closet.
So there are three dead—and therefore former—presidents who might—perhaps even may—have wanted to bomb Iran: Jimmy Carter, Ronald Reagan, and George H.W. Bush. Carter is the prime suspect, of course, since Ayatollah Khomeini’s violent takeover of Iran and ensuing theocratic dictatorship and 444-day holding of American hostages may well have cost him a second term as POTUS. But good Christian that he was, he bore no grudges and got neither mad nor even. And why should he be any different in death? So that lets him out.
President George H.W. Bush was too busy illegally kidnapping Manuel Noriega from Panama (providing precedent for Trump’s illegal kidnapping of Nicolás Maduro from Venezuela) and protecting other—i.e., Arab—oil-rich Gulf states from Saddam Hussein to worry about Iran. So that lets him out.
But in 1985 President Ronald Reagan did actually authorize bombing of Iran in circumstances that, fortunately, didn’t come to pass, of which then-Veep Bush said, “I think the American people would be very supportive.” Then, in 1988, after an Iranian mine severely damaged the guided missile frigate USS Samuel B. Roberts, Reagan ordered Operation Praying Mantis, in which the U.S. Navy sank several Iranian warships in the Persian Gulf. And of course there’s the Iran-Contra Affair, which really, really embarrassed Reagan—as well it should have.
So could Donald Trump have been communing with the spirit of Ronald Reagan, who or which wishes he or it had bombed Iran? Or is the former president who wishes he had bombed Iran just another delusion, actually another symptom of Trump’s dangerous instability and senility?
16 March—Yes, incredible as it may seem, the Scotties in the dramatic new philosophical quotation panel at the top of the sidebar (or whatever it’s called on a cellphone screen) are really Hope and Glory. The two little bitches were good enough to hold still last night for the split second required to digitally immortalize them. Well, only just. And almost. That’s why the new philosophical quotation panel is dramatic.
Counting our blessings, then, here’s their theme song, “Land of Hope and Glory,” played by an accordion band, with percussion obbligato, of course. The music, if you need reminding, is Sir Edward Elgar’s “Pomp and Circumstance March No. 1.” And that’s all you want to know.
If, however, you’d like to revisit Dame Clara Butt’s pre-Great War vocal rendition and a more recent performance by eight pianists at four Steinway Ds, with triple-timpani obbligato (of course), just click on this link: America needs a new national anthem.
And America really does need a new national anthem . . .
15 March—On the Ides of March 2026, where are the 21st-century American Brutus, Cassius, Decimus, and senators when the republic really, really, really needs them? On the other hand, the regime change brought about in the first-century BC by the well-intended assassination of Julius Caesar turned out to be for the worse—as many regime changes do turn out.
Now for some fun. Poor education secretary Linda McMahon’s “History Rocks” traveling freak show has been and is being canceled by schools in Connecticut and elsewhere. The nasty uncooperative left-wing socialist educators would actually do much better—and the right thing—by having the true version of American history presented alongside ultra-right-censored “patriotic” version. Debates between opposing factions of historians, politicians, and other bullshit artists also would most certainly be a better idea than simply canceling the freak show. Problem is, the history rockers, word has it, won’t agree to the better idea. No surprise there.
So last July, Linda McMahon’s estranged (but not—yet?—divorced) husband Vince was driving his 2024 Bentley Continental-labeled Volkswagen through Westport on the Merritt Parkway somewhat over the speed limit and somewhat erratically. Okay, recklessly at breakneck speed. After old Vince—he was 79 at the time—hit a car and a guardrail he pulled over (for whatever reason) and surrendered to a state police detective who had been following him in an unmarked car. The police released the dashcam and bodycam video of the event late last month. And here it is for your edification.
But first: Why wasn’t Vince McMahon given a breathalyzer or field sobriety test on the spot, as is the norm and certainly would have been expected in the circumstance? It’s possible the unmarked cruiser didn’t have a breathalyzer, of course, but in that case a field sobriety test would have been in order. Because Vince really looked and acted like he should have been tested. As you can see in the video, he looked like shit. Was he visibly dazed from the airbags going off or from something else—including but not limited to his age, at which his diminished reflexes would counterindicate driving at high speed even to get to his granddaughter’s birthday party?
The policeman who followed and videoed Vince was polite, as is expected. But was he too deferential? And if so, was it because of the $300,000 car or Vince McMahon’s celebrity? It’s not clear from the video. Would some schmuck in an old non-Bentley Continental-labeled Volkswagen have been treated with such deference? The trooper who later wrote out the ticket shook Vince’s hand, wished him well, and regretted they had to meet in that circumstance.
In all events, Vince was cited only for misdemeanor reckless driving and following too closely and thus got off pretty lightly. His celebrity mouthpiece, Mark Sherman, said the crash was just an accident. Ya think?! “Not every car accident is a crime,” Sherman kvetched. Who ever said otherwise. “Vince’s primary concern during this case was for the other drivers,” Sherman insisted. Sure. And, most important, Vince “is appreciative that the court saw this [as] more of an accident than a crime that needed to be prosecuted.”
14 March—Donald Trump may be able to avoid prosecution for all the crimes he committed, is committing, and will commit as SICOTUS (Scumbag-in-Chief of the United States), thanks to a dangerously dogmatic, monumentally injudicious, and thoroughly thoughtless conservative Supreme Court majority, but the incompetent, malignant boobs who actually do the dirty work on his behalf aren’t above the law. At least they won’t be once his pernicious administration has bitten the dust and Democrats and real Republicans retake the government, hopefully starting this November and culminating with a total victory for the good guys in 2028.
At the top of the dung heap of Trump’s criminals, of course, is his psychopathic warlord Pete Hegseth, who, through more than mere incompetence, must take responsibility for mass murders, which are being committed even at his writing. At trial, Hegseth and the other blatantly culpable Trump lackeys will fall on the lame Nuremberg Nazi defense that they were just following orders. But it didn’t work for Hitler’s criminals and it won’t work for Trump’s.
Hegseth and likely other Trump flunkies in the defense (war), homeland security, and justice departments—and doubtless other rogue agencies—should be charged with capital offenses, punishable by death. Note that the last federal execution took place four days before Trump’s first reign of terror ended in 2021 and last year SICOTUS made a big deal of reinstating and aggressively expanding the death penalty right after he slithered back into office. (But no federal executions have been carried out during Trump’s second reign of terror. Yet.)
There’s no federal (or state) statute of limitations for capital offenses. But there’s a five-year statute of limitations for non-capital federal crimes, meaning that charges must generally be filed within five years of the offenses. With the long-awaited complete departure of the Trump regime in January 2029, that should make all crimes committed during his second reign of terror litigable and punishable. And clever lawyering might even be able to prosecute crimes committed during Trump’s first reign of terror.
Unfortunately, Trump is certain to issue preemptive pardons for all his lackeys during his last days in office. It remains to be seen if he’ll pardon himself just in case—or if he does, whether the Supreme Court will go along with it.
We also wonder what a new administration will do with all the architectural and other self-glorifying monuments and narcissistic travesties Trump will have perpetrated before he finally gets his just desserts. Among other things needing remediation, to be sure . . .
13 March—Talk about Γνῶθι σεαυτόν—Know thyself. Today, Friday the 13th, America’s deranged scumbag-in-chief posted on his execrable personal website, “Watch what happens to these deranged scumbags today,” referring directly, of course, to his fellow deranged scumbags running and ruining Iran just as he’s running and ruining the United States and ruining the world while trying to run it. We’re watching and waiting. Meanwhile, Donald Trump blathered on, “They’ve been killing innocent people all over the world for 47 years [blah, blah, and blah].”
Trump probably hasn’t been doing it for 47 years, but it’s a demonstrable, incontrovertible fact that he’s been killing innocent people all over the world at least since last year, starting—as far as we know—in the Caribbean and spreading his self-serving homicidal tentacles to all points of the compass. The body count between Iran and Lebanon alone, instigated by the Trump-Netanyahu need-to-kill alliance so far, is at least 2,000, mostly civilians.
And to what purpose? Certainly Iran’s 47-year-old evil and corrupt authoritarian theocratic regime should be overthrown and evil and corrupt Hezbollah should be exterminated in innocent Lebanon—with the full support of the Lebanese government. But more important to Trump, Israel’s Netanyahu, not being blessed with a cooperative supreme court, needs to prolong hostilities and do anything and everything else he can to keep from being tried for corruption; and Trump himself needs to divert attention from the way he and his equally incompetent and malignant lackeys have screwed up virtually everything they’ve done, screwing and embarrassing once-proud America and Americans in the bargain.
If the purpose of Trump’s current taxpayer-funded murder spree is regime change in Iran, even his dumb-ass loyal flunkies must know it doesn’t work. Look at Venezuela, for instance, a sick joke. The so-called “decapitation strike”—the illegal capture of scumbag President Nicolás Maduro—simply paved the way for his equally scumbaggy vice president to take over, but now with Trump’s blessing, since he’s now evidently got what he wants from Venezuela.
As for Iran, Trump’s incompetents appear to have severely underestimated its response—its very ability to respond—to the not-unjustified Israeli-American illegal preemptive aggression. And even if Khamenei Junior (who’s said to be recovering from injuries he suffered in the attack that killed his father, mother, wife, and son) should be overthrown for whatever reason, the new government is more than likely to be every bit as corrupt and evil as the current one.
At the very least, you can’t blame Mojtaba Khamenei for wanting revenge. But you can blame Donald Trump . . .
12 March—Sad business first: Due to fiscal exigency—two new mouths to feed, vet bills, ungodly grocery inflation (including on remaindered food), and such—the Monitor has been forced to double its subscription rate. Sorry, but the new rate will take effect with tomorrow’s issue. We can’t afford a firewall (and we wouldn’t know how to use one if we could), so subscribers and adventitious readers are expected to do the right and honorable thing.
With that out of the way, then, let’s go to Donald Trump’s blatantly, recklessly, dastardly, dangerously incompetent ass-licking warlord Pete Hegseth. Before that, though, everybody knows that Trump himself, in addition to being a vainglorious grifter, is a vain bastard in every conceivable way and many inconceivable ways. There’s no need to mention the distinctive Mandarin or Valencia orange color of his physically thick but figuratively thin skin, probably from a combination of improperly applied self-tanning crap and heavy makeup, which must find its way to his shirt collar. But it gives us too much pleasure not to mention it.
Well, glamour boy Hegseth is no better. Getting past his obtrusive Old Glory pocket hankie, like his lord and master, he’s said to play with himself by, among other things, applying his own makeup, including but not necessarily limited to concealer, bronzer, and foundation. At least his complexion isn’t orange.
Then there’s Hegseth’s distinctive coif, variously described accurately as a “greasy mess” or “wet look” and inaccurately as a mullet or man bun. Does he use salt-and-pepper hair prep to convey an air of maturity and gravitas, both of which he clearly lacks? If gravitas is his intent, moreover, he kills it with the gel, pomade, and/or high-shine wax he excessively plops on, in, and under his resplendent hair. And does he spray or brush the ceramic glaze over his effulgent coif before he sticks his head in a hot kiln to vitrify the magnificent do, lest one hair ever make its way out of formation?
So it’s reported in yesterday’s Washington Post that the vain warlord Hegseth blocked press photographers from two briefings—on 4 March and 10 March—because of “unflattering” photographs taken during one of his rare actually-on-the-record briefings and published in various media outlets throughout the cruel world. Only official Defense Department photogs are now permitted in the briefings.
Yes, naturally the Defense Department denies it. And yes, it’s still officially the Defense Department in spite of Trump’s gratuitous executive order secondarily rebranding it to suit the President of Peace’s bellicose disposition. Congress made the War Department the Defense Department in 1949 and only Congress can make the Defense Department the War Department now or in the future.
In all events, Hegseth can’t blame photographers for his warped image:
11 March—Donald Trump’s unquestionably illegal and decidedly unpopular war against Iran—which he’s taken to calling a “short-term excursion”—continues to piss off ever more of his MAGA minions while he and his demonstrably inept war department continue to enthusiastically escalate the horrific and totally senseless destruction and death.
Over in Blighty, Sir Keir Starmer’s weak government wants to curtail jury trials in favor of bench trials with the hope of cutting the backlog of some 80,000 civil and criminal cases that’s been clogging the Crown Courts for years. For the record, Starmer was made Sir Keir as a reward for his tenure as Director of Public Prosecutions. Lawyers, including members of Parliament, aren’t rolling over and playing dead, of course, and it’s unlikely the ill-conceived legislation will get anywhere—at least in its present form.
Back in Connecticut, Gov. Ned Lamont, looking to assure beyond any doubt his pretty certain reelection this year, has proposed a temporary suspension of the state’s 25-cents-per-gallon gasoline tax as long as Trump’s short-term excursion keeps oil prices higher than are comfortable. Even if (when?) the short-term excursion in Iran becomes long-term, the gas-tax break doesn’t amount to much in real terms. But it makes Ned look good to voters. Even if his General Assembly doesn’t cooperate.
Apropos nothing, then, here’s a delightfully sonorous snippet from Frederick Delius’s “Florida Suite.” He composed it in 1887 in Leipzig, reflecting on his time as manager of an orange grove in the Sunshine State. Before you ask, Delius was a Brit of German extraction, born Fritz Theodor Albert Delius in Yorkshire in 1862. His family did well in the rag trade but he wanted nothing to do with it. That’s why he was sent to Florida. After that, he studied music in Germany, wrote some pretty decent stuff, and died in France in 1934.
So enjoy Delius’s delightful depiction of “The Storm”:
10 March—As Donald Trump continues to admire himself, back in Connecticut captive customers of the Aquarion Water Company are facing unreasonable rate hikes because last week a Superior Court judge intimidated the state’s Public Utilities Regulatory Authority (PURA) into approving the utility’s distress sale by Eversource Energy, which had bought it nine years ago but shouldn’t have, to the unregulated South Central Connecticut Regional Water Authority (SCCRWA).
We won’t enumerate the reasons Eversource shouldn’t have bought Aquarion, even though water companies traditionally are good utilities to own. But for reasons beyond PURA’s refusal to allow Eversource to screw Aquarion customers any more than they (we) already were being screwed, Eversource simply had to dump it. Trouble was, no private entity wanted to take on Aquarion. But public SCCRWA was willing.
But SCCRWA wasn’t able to consummate the marriage until the Connecticut General Assembly (for all the wrong reasons, as usual) came up with legislation in 2024 specifically to enable the private water utility’s sale—classified as a merger—to the public water utility. The problem for Aquarion customers is, public utilities in Connecticut, unlike private utilities, are not subject to regulation by PURA. But the sale needed to be approved by PURA anyway.
However, amid intense opposition from Aquarion’s public and private customers (including Connecticut Attorney General William Tong), and politicians (including those who had voted for the enabling legislation), PURA nixed the deal last November. Since Eversource needed to dump Aquarion to keep its upper management (and, to a lesser extent, shareholders) rolling in dough, the sale-merger had to go through, though, it appealed PURA’s decision to the court.
So Judge Matthew Budzik—a captive Aquarion customer himself, as it happens—in January ordered PURA to reconsider. And that PURA did, in a preliminary new decision favoring the bad deal issued last Friday. The final decision is scheduled for 25 March and is expected to be the basic prelim with perhaps a few tweaks. As expected, Eversource and SCCRWA management are happy as E. coli in dirty water.
Why, you may wonder, would the CGA have approved legislation to allow the sale-merger in the first place? Could Eversource’s lobbying have had anything to do with it? Just wondering.
If the Eversource-Aquarion-SCCRWA deal does in fact go through, the CGA can mitigate any potential harm to customers—and limit public-utility immunity in the bargain—by enabling PURA to oversee public utilities as well as private ones. All it takes is legislation. And our own 30th District senator, Senate Minority Leader Stephen Harding has suggested passage of “nonpartisan legislation to give PURA authority to review all parts of the deal.”
Observers worry about PURA’s final decision due in only two weeks. But why worry? There are options available through PURA and the courts, for starters. And, even better, the CGA, which just rushed through what its Democrat bosses and the Lamont administration classified as “emergency” legislation, could easily do it again—this time for a real emergency . . .
9 March—It’s refreshing—positively exhilarating, in fact—to report that Iran is middle-fingering its nose at Donald Trump. Vladimir Putrid’s middle finger is clearly also in Iran’s nose, mind you, but, in the circumstance, why not?
You’ll recall that last month the war-mongering self-declared President of Peace fomented and is currently escalating his decidedly uncalled-for, demonstrably counterproductive (except for the military-industrial complex, of course), and totally illegal (on all counts) undeclared war against Iran.
Israel is Trump’s ally in the fray, of course, although with defensive justification totally lacking in Trump’s self-serving pacific belligerence. Trump BFF Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu clearly is doing everything he possibly can to keep from being tried and quite possibly convicted for corruption and prolonging two wars is part of his strategy. At least he has his parliament’s cooperation, even though half of it would like to see him locked up. Same goes for Trump’s congress, which would likely declare war for him even though half it—including Republicans—would like to see him locked up. And Trump got himself reelected president for the same reason, after the Supreme Court paved his way.
Back to Iran, then, a couple of days ago Trump demanded unconditional surrender of that nasty nation on his patently unacceptable terms. No kidding. Bully that he is, he blustered that he wasn’t interested in negotiation and asserted that his non-war with Iran would end only if that country ditched whatever functioning military it had and he chose its next leader. If the bully of peace didn’t get his way, of course, among the consequences he promised would be the killing of all potential Iranian leaders and destruction of its military. Funny he didn’t mention the sizable paramilitary.
The President of Peace put it succinctly: “At some point, I don’t think there will be anybody left maybe to say ‘We surrender’.” That’s likely how he deals with women, too. On the other hand, if Iran gave him his way, “Iran will have a great future. MAKE IRAN GREAT AGAIN (MIGA!).”
So, taking Trump’s belligerent blather for what it’s worth, yesterday Iran’s so-called Assembly of Experts named Mojtaba Khamenei, the son of the big cheese Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Ali Khamenei rubbed out by Israeli forces on the first day of the non-war, to replace his late father.
It’s doubtful the Assembly of Experts bothered to ask Trump’s permission when they chose Mojtaba to be the new supreme leader, since Trump had made it clear that the 56-year-old kid was unacceptable. And if Trump says it . . . But it’s not unlikely the guys conferred with Putrid’s people. In all events, if his father was bad for the United States and Israel, Mojtaba Khamenei is worse. In every way. But Trump asked for it.
So how long before Ayatollah (or just Hojjat ol-Eslam, since his theological credentials are in question) Mojtaba Khamenei is rubbed out? And how long before Trump comes up with a coercive plan to get greasy American hands on Iranian oil as well as Venezuelan oil?
8 March—On Be Nasty Day, let me start with Daylight Saving Time. When the whores in Washington should be legislating to have permanent Standard Time, instead they’re wasting their time and taxpayer dollars and crapping their pants—the Republicans, anyway—because of Donald Trump. You may recall that a few years ago when Marco Rubio was a U.S. senator he introduced the Sunshine Protection Act to end what he aptly called the “ridiculous and antiquated” practice of changing clocks twice a year.
Marco’s well-intentioned bill would have “locked the clock” on Daylight Saving Time, which was a mistake, of course. But it was a start. And it passed the Senate by unanimous consent. But Marco’s chronological legislation died in the House, in part because many thoughtful representatives argued that permanent Standard Time was the better way to go.
The next nasty is about HP computers and printers. I’ve lost count of the computers and printers I’ve had in the four decades-plus I’ve had computers and printers. So about 20 years ago I bought a highly touted HP laser printer. It broke down in less than a fortnight. HP service was disgracefully useless. So I returned the printer to Staples, no problem, and replaced the mother with a Brother. The Brother printer, which is old enough to vote, still performs admirably, despite Windows 11.
Windows 11 runs on my current HP desktop computer. Well, in the interest of accuracy, Windows 11 runs on the HP when the computer runs. A few years ago, when my custom-built 2013 Windows 8.1 desktop computer started showing signs of age, I replaced the old fellow with an HP, motivated largely by price. Long story short, it’s the lousiest computer I’ve ever owned or used. I shouldn’t quite call it junk, but it’s awfully close. And my senescent Windows 8.1 computer still works when called into service—and better on many occasions than the HP.
Hewlett-Packard’s anti-consumer business model certainly doesn’t help the brand. And it’s another reason I’ll never buy an HP product again.
Penultimately, Charter has bought Cox. Two of the most poorly rated cable-internet providers are now, pending a few more perfunctory approvals, a single entity and with some 38 million largely monopoly-captive customers have become the largest such operation in the country. Our hearts go out to Charter and Cox customers, who are bound to suffer even lousier cable and internet and customer service than before.
And last, Altice customers, like those of us in Litchfield, Torrington, Goshen, Morris, Warren, and Watertown, aren’t much better off than Charter and Cox customers. Because, while Altice’s cable TV isn’t rated all that badly, its broadband internet service—copper and fiber—is among the most poorly rated in the country. We certainly can attest to that . . .