13 July—On this day in 1900, New York Governor Theodore Roosevelt, laying the cornerstone for what’s now the Old County Courthouse in Mineola/Garden City, Lawn Guylind, spoke of the need for honesty in government. Certainly politicians since the beginning of government have spoken of the need for honesty in government, if only because it makes them sound honest to the great unwashed. But the future president meant it because he was a Republican idealist when Republicans were still the good guys.

Anyway, during TR’s speech, a pickpocket picked 243 dollars from the pockets of two men in the crowd. Presumably the dip, as pickpockets are known in the trade, wasn’t a government functionary, because everybody knows that government never picks anybody’s pockets—and, indeed, never does anything that can be considered dishonest.

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This from the latest issue of “The Flying Lady,” a periodical by and for stuck-up car aficionados. It was written by an experienced and respected automotive engineer, mechanic, and restorer:

“Back in 1990, when Ford took over Jaguar and Land Rover, people said that was the ruin of those brands. I disagreed, and time proved me right. Ford focused on quality and within a few years, they transformed one of the least reliable cars on the road into something with Ford-like reliability. VW did the same with Bentley, applying their considerable engineering resources to solving one problem after another. The final Azure [a Bentley convertible produced from 1995 to 2010] was a beneficiary of that effort.”

While everybody knows that Jaguar and Land Rover were indeed, like the USPS, reliable only for being unreliable, who remembered that Ford had ever owned Jaguar and Land Rover? As it happens, Ford sold both brands to Tata in 2008. And they’re still among the most unreliable cars on the market. They’re still essentially British, after all.

Were Jaguars and Land Rovers really any less unreliable during the Ford years? For Ford-like reliability, keep in mind that Ford is regarded by many as an acronym for Fix Or Replace Daily. Even today, while Ford trucks are said to be reliable and durable, the same isn’t said about Ford cars.

As for Volkswagen improving Bentley reliability after buying it from Vickers in 1998, maybe, maybe not. Bentley’s and sister-marque Rolls-Royce’s quality and consequent reliability—they were notorious for “one problem after another”—had in fact deteriorated considerably and shamefully since the 1960s, over a decade before Vickers entered the picture. Volkswagen’s group reliability has been average at best, just like Bentley’s. Volkswagen also bought Lamborghini and Bugatti in 1998, both of which appear to be more reliable than they had been. Volkswagen also owns Audi, whose family of cars isn’t unreliable, and Porsche, whose family of cars is generally quite reliable.

Although the formerly British Bentley Azure may have benefited from German engineering while keeping British metal-pounding and furniture-making—what the Brits do best—Bentleys are still just overpriced Volkswagens. And Rolls-Royces are overpriced BMWs. With British bodies and interiors, of course.

In the same “Flying Lady,” from a less-uncritical expert on the absorbing subject of key fobs:

“I’ve saved the best for last. The [Bentley] GT was designed by the Germans on a VW platform. They go back to a single alarm module-immobilizer unit mounted under the driver’s floor. They call their unit kessy and the location is under the driver’s carpet. This not only makes it difficult to get to—you have to remove the driver’s seat—but it also has the benefit of filling up with water. This is an example of that great German engineering we all hear about! Remember if you just want the engineering screwed up ask the English, if you want over the top awful overly complex engineering ask a German!”