12 October—In observance of Cristóbal Colón’s landing in the Bahamas in 1492, most post offices are closed today. But the new post office the thoughtful folks who run the United States Postal Service were good enough to give the people of Morris CT 06763 last week is open for business. This is a picture of it:

Back to Cris Colón, then, without GPS or even a chronometer to help him get to where he wanted to go and in fact thought he had got to, he called the indigenous people he encountered and allegedly abused on San Salvador Indians. San Salvador Indians. They cold have been a baseball team. Cris also considered them savages, even though they were arguably less savage than the people Cris was working for.

So that’s why the politically correct crowd calls the holiday Indigenous Peoples Day rather than Columbus Day. The politically correct State of Connecticut still calls it Columbus Day, to be sure, thanks to the state’s powerful ethnic Italian lobby, but several towns and cities celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day. God forbid it should be called Colón Day anywhere.

That’s because Cristóbal Colón, better known as Christopher Columbus in the English-speaking gentile world, was recently (in 2024) confirmed by DNA evidence—announced conveniently for Columbus Day, one might think—as Jewish and Hispanic. Well, a Spanish Jew, anyway, because in the United States Hispanic is taken to mean Latin American. So let’s call Cris Sephardic, Sepharad being the Hebrew word for Spain.

In all events, whether Colón and his few known Jewish crew members actually practiced their religion openly is doubtful, given the notorious Spanish Inquisition. And the very fact that Colón’s forename of record was Cristóbal, which like Christopher means Christ bearer, may well indicate that Cris was a Marrano or Converso, outwardly professing Christianity while secretly practicing Judaism.

That Colón-Columbus was a Sephardic Jew has been mooted for over a century. But now it’s pretty certain, although the DNA evidence hasn’t been peer-reviewed. (Frankly, there’s no excuse for that and it raises some serious doubt.) Still, assuming the DNA evidence eventually passes muster, we can safely expect even the politically incorrect crowd to celebrate Indigenous Peoples Day rather than Colón Day—because there’s simply no excuse for a federal holiday to celebrate a Jew.

And you can forget about Colon Day without the acute accent to celebrate the large intestine—despite all it does for us . . .