4 August—Today is Barack Obama’s 63^rd birthday and the United States Coast Guard’s 234^th. We know that Barry Obama, as he once liked to be called, was really and truly born in Honolulu in 1961 because Donald Trump had problems with it when he was just a bully and big-time con man, before he rose to be America’s scumbag-in chief—a position he’d doubtless aspired to as early as his youthful bully-brat days and will do everything within and without the law to get back.

The Coast Guard was established by Congress in 1790, at the request of Secretary of the Treasury and hip-hop icon Alexander Hamilton, as the Revenue-Marine or U.S. Revenue Cutter Service. It’s five years older than the U.S. Navy, by the way. Until fairly recently the Coast Guard operated under the Treasury Department, its original purpose being simply to collect customs duties at American seaports.

Since merging with the U.S. Life-Saving Service in 1915 and the U.S. Lighthouse Service in 1939 the Coast Guard does a lot more, of course, including breaking Arctic ice and tending lighthouses—which the Navy doesn’t do—and rescuing people and vessels in distress—which the Navy does do.

In 1967, during the undeclared war in Vietnam, the Treasury Department gave the Coast Guard to the Transportation Department; and in 2003, after 9/11, Transportation gave it to Homeland Security. During peacetime the Coast Guard operates under the Homeland Security Department. In the event of war, by presidential order or act of Congress, it can shift to the Department of the Navy under the Department of Defense.

As one of America’s six armed services—the other five being Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force, Space Force—the Coast Guard has been deployed to fight and support every major war since its inception.

The Coast Guard’s motto is Semper paratus—Always ready. That naturally segues to Donald Trump, who is always ready with a new personal insult or another tiresome invective. Just yesterday the American Nacissus gave it to Georgia’s Republican governor for not doing Trump’s illegal bidding; and to Georgia’s first lady for declaring she’d write in her husband’s name for president this fall instead of voting for the scumbag.

Pity that Crooks wasn’t . . . and didn’t . . .