24 February—Today we must celebrate—not just observe—a very special event in the annals of righteousness and amity as well as the history of the modern world. Because it’s the third anniversary of the notably democratic Russian Federation’s heroic intervention in the autocratic republic of Ukraine.

Never but never refer to or even think of Mother Russia’s heroic interventional blitzkrieg intended to rid Ukraine of its unelected dictator who masquerades as a popularly and fairly elected president as an invasion. That’s merely misinformation and fake news broadcast by dissident media, all of which should be banned—and the perpetrators executed.

Thank God our own beloved, selfless, illustrious president has the intelligence, insight, and unquestioned integrity to know the truth and reveal it to his loyal subjects so that they—we—may better appreciate his altruistic efforts to cleanse Canada, Panama, and Greenland (among the plethora of misgoverned territorial entities begging for remediation) of their iniquitous governments and adopt them into our sphere of compassionate magnanimity.

God save the King!

🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕

Meanwhile, Connecticut’s beloved, selfless, illustrious governor is leading the charge—from India at the moment—to transform (elevate?) the Nutmeg State into the Pizza Capital of America. Talk about righteousness and amity. Perhaps he’ll come back with a recipe for naan pizza with tomato curry and kalari cheese—New York style, of course . . .