26 June—We still don’t know with any certainty just how much damage the stupendous bunker buster bombs and guided missiles actually did to Iran’s nuclear facilities. And it’s not just because of the dynamic discrepancies between claims of Donald Trump, administration flunkies, Israel, the International Atomic Energy Agency, Iran, and Uncle Schmendrick. Rather, it’s because in war—and when you spend hundreds of millions of dollars dropping bombs and shooting guided missiles on a country it certainly looks like war even though it may not be declared as such—you take everything claimed by all belligerents with a grain of salt.

For the record, though, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran’s second supreme leader, in posts on social media and a recorded message claimed what he called “a decisive victory” over the United States and Israel. Translated from the Farsi: “I deem it necessary to extend a few congratulations to the great nation of Iran: First, congratulations on the victory over the fake Zionist regime. With all that clamor, with all those claims, the Zionist regime, under the blows of the Islamic Republic, has almost collapsed and been crushed.”

Right on, Al! You tell ’em!

But fake Zionist regime? That’s like Donald Trump calling things he doesn’t like fake. At least Ayatollah Al was nice enough to say it has almost collapsed and been crushed. And what the old ayatollah is doing is actually declaring victory and surrendering. Because, it must be noted, Iran’s supreme leader declared victory from a hidden location. What a guy.

Here’s a screen shot of sweet old Ayatollah Ali Khamenei declaring victory from his secret bunker. The text at the bottom of the screen is an ad for used refrigerators. The stern old guy glaring down from the top right corner is Al’s predecessor, Ruhollah Khomeini, Iran’s first supreme leader. No idea why he’s there . . .