7 March—In Shakespeare’s “Julius Caesar,” Mark Antony soliloquizes over JC’s bloody corpse, “Cry ‘Havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war.” He’s thinking out loud, as soliloquizers do, about vengeance, fomenting war, and generally creating chaos. Sound familiar?

Well, Donald Trump has been crying “Havoc!” ever since his childhood, when, as people who remember him from Jamaica Estates—the Queens neighborhood where he lived until he was packed off to military school for “disciplinary reasons”—and Kew-Forest School, the local prep from which father Fred removed him for “behavioral issues,”—are not at all reluctant to relate, he was a big loudmouth bully. At Kew-Forest, it’s reported, big Donny served detention so often that the punishment was nicknamed “DT.” Maybe that’s why he’s added his middle initial.

One of his teachers at Kew-Forest asserts, “When that kid was ten, even then he was a little shit.” Little? And it appears that Trump has no hesitation confirming his obnoxious childhood—and adulthood: “When I look at myself in the first grade and I look at myself now, I’m basically the same. The temperament is not that different.”

(At New York Military Academy, it must be noted, some classmates remember adolescent Trump as a bully with an air of superiority who used his size and authority—as a moderately high-ranking cadet—to intimidate other cadets and not infrequently was called on the carpet. But others remember him as a “good guy,” popular on campus and with visitors. Just like delusional and otherwise misguided voters, it would appear. And of course he was a “Ladies Man,” according to the senior yearbook.)

And now senescent adolescent Donald Trump is crying “Havoc!” and letting slip the dogs of what can’t be war because Congress hasn’t declared it. Yet the psycho-sociopathic wannabe Nobel Peace Prize laureate and ruler of the world is demanding that Iran surrender unconditionally or else. Anything for peace. What a guy. But Iran’s president is calling Trump’s demand a dream.

The reality, of course, is that Trump is a nightmare who has made the American dream the American nightmare.

On the home front, then, talking about—but not crying—havoc, here’s a picture of Litchfield’s dogs of war, Hope and Glory. Well, they’re not actually dogs of war, more like bitches of chaos and destruction. They still won’t pose for a formal portrait, but this morning they took a break from their shock-and-awe blitzkrieg.

Given their short spans of attention and destructive tendencies, a name change to Donald and Trump was considered; but they’ve lovable and innocent and shouldn’t be insulted. On the other hand, another seriously considered—and distinctly appropriate—dual aptronym was Tornado and Tsunami. But they already answer to Hope and Glory . . .