26 February—First thing today is a correction to yesterday’s disquisition. The internet barely had time to cool down after “Why Trump thrives” was posted, when The Monitor received an indignant email from La Conservatissima: “I’m not a Republican and never was one!!!!” she insisted. Abject apologies to La for the assumption that since she’s been regurgitating hard-core Republican dogma for over 30 years, she had become one, even before moving down to the ante room to oblivion. So when I asked her how she’d describe her political posture, she quickly replied, “Brilliant and a mind of my own!!!!” Sure. At least she’s learned to control her bangs. [And, speaking of tongue twister contests, try repeating “Why Trump thrives” over and over.]

While on pregnant quotations, here’s one from an editorial cartoon by The Augusta Chronicle’s Rich McKee, being recited by Donald Trump as he points to one of his gold-colored sneakers with a woman appearing out of the top. She’s wearing a MAGA cap and holding a sign, “Need help. Spent all my $$ on shoes.” Trump declaims:

“There is an old women
Who lives in a shoe;
She’s only a three
(Or more like a two . . .)
She came to my rallies with all of the schmucks
And bought my new sneakers
For 400 bucks!”

You wonder what kind of schmucks would spend that kind of money on sneakers, gilded or otherwise. Well, not so fast. First, most of Nike’s Air Jordans list at three figures—and people actually buy them. Then, how many people who have bought and will buy the Trump sneakers actually intend to wear them? Think collectibles. That’s doubtless what Trump, who has been pretty damn good at marketing all kinds of useless crap—especially himself—must have been thinking.

Question is, since he and his campaign need money, will the company he once said he owns that makes the sneakers (despite the website’s claim that “Trump Sneakers are not designed, manufactured, distributed or sold by Donald J. Trump, the Trump Organization or any of their respective affiliates or principals” and that it’s “not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign”) flood the market, thereby reducing collectible value and screwing his horde of MAGA morons?

Another pregnant quotation comes from Dave Granlund’s cartoon with the title “Alabama court: frozen embryos are children.” A couple is pictured telling a tax preparer, “We’re claiming 8 kids, 3 at home and 5 in the lab!” Well, it is Alabama.

And talking about pregnant, a Flake State college student who works two jobs was interviewed on left-wing news Sunday morning about the abortion pill. She claimed to have been “devastated” when she discovered she was pregnant. Aw gee. If she had neither the common sense nor the intelligence to take pharmaceutical or physical precautions or—heaven forfend—just practice good old-fashioned abstinence (at least any time around ovulation) in the little time she had free between her classes, studies, and two jobs, what did she expect?

Finally, then, Connecticut Public Television has just embarked on another tedious fortnight-long fund-raiser. Bless ’em. Two whole weeks of crummy “special” programming—largely self-help and tribute music—that’s broadcast in the hope that viewers will pledge telephonically or digitally. But do even faithful viewers and contributors actually watch all that jejune, obnoxious crap that’s punctuated by abject begging?