20 February—I’ve just been reminded by the nice people at Credit Karma that it’s been 19 years since my last credit card. They meant that I haven’t taken out a new credit card in 19 years. And, coincidentally (of course), the nice people at PayPal have invited me yet again to apply for their credit card.

As I’ve written at least once before, PayPal can forget it. Being invited to apply for anything, as opposed to having it offered directly, is nothing but an insult. Banks and other issuers haven’t been allowed to send out unsolicited credit cards for quite a while. But if PayPal really wants me, it can simply invite me to sign a contract. Easy as that, none of this application crap.

Not that I’d take another credit card. I have one with a limit something like 25 times the actual credit I’ve ever used. That’s obviously all I need. Last year I chronicled the teething problems I had when Chase sold their AARP card to Barclays. But Barclays has shaped up. So why should I complicate my life?

Credit Karma’s algorithm tells me that my “forecast is looking mighty promising,” that my “chances of approval are outstanding” and that I have “Outstanding Approval Odds.** for one or more new credit cards.” The ** is explained in small print when I scroll down: approval is “not guaranteed.” Horrors! “For example,” I’m warned, “[I] may not be approved because [I] don’t meet the lender’s ‘ability to pay standard’ after they verify [my] income and employment; or, [I] already have the maximum number of accounts with that specific lender.”

I haven’t been employed for 30 years and I’m a pauper. So I guess that’s that. And, even worse, I’m a deadbeat***.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but doesn’t Credit Karma already know my ability to pay as well as the number of accounts I have with all lenders? Why else would I have an enviable credit rating or whatever it’s called these days?

Of course, my credit rating is a few points less enviable now than it had been several years ago when I had a mortgage and was paying down my new tractor and zero-turn mower at zero interest. I paid off the mortgage when the First National Bank of Litchfield sold out to the Union Savings Bank of Danbury because I refused (and still refuse) to do business with USB.

At that time I also had a few idle credit cards that I had opened when high investor interest made it worthwhile to take advantage of the free-money promos of the issuers. Ah, the good old days.

Right now, Credit Karma reminds me, “[I] have 1 credit cards [sic]” and the “average number of cards for members with scores like [mine]: 5.” I suspect the algorithm wasn’t intended for people with only one credit card, hence “1 credit cards.” And this may be a silly, simple-minded question, but why would people with outstanding credit need more than one card anyway?

Truth be told, having only one card and no other credit accounts at all has hurt my rating somewhat. I can live with it.

And as for being a deadbeat***, that’s a derogatory term in the credit card business for a person who always pays off his balance, thus depriving the issuer of the bulk of its profit while reaping the rewards of its promos. I can live with that, too . . .