30 December—Before limping off into the sunset, the Biden administration, in an effort to convince everyone how successful it’s been, has released an exhaustive list of its extensive accomplishments. In the interest of journalistic integrity, The Monitor’s fact-checkers have diligently (and, in this case, charitably) pored over the official elucidation of the quadrennium of Biden administration accomplishments, lest readers be misinformed. So what follows is a complete listing of the positive accomplishments of Joe Biden’s administration from 20 January 2021 through 30 December 2024.

Please note that in the interest of positivity, The Monitor prefers to totally disregard negative accomplishments. In all events, Joe Biden and his care-givers and other operatives have another three weeks to accomplish anything at all. So here’s the guaranteed complete and accurate list of Biden administration accomplishments:

In other news . . .

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Remember Manifest Destiny? It was the 19th-century idea that the United States was destined to expand across all of North America and thus spread capitalism—and democracy along with it, probably as an afterthought. Don’t for one minute think it was imperialism, though.

Well, President-Elect Donald Trump is appealing to his faithful followers to resurrect Manifest Destiny. He calls it Make America Bigger Again—the MABA imperative. And he proposes to start by annexing Canada. But rest assured that the president-elect hasn’t forgotten about world peace and sexual equality.

It’s worth noting, by the way, that the population of all of Canada is about 40.1 million, only a half million more than the population of California. Where do they all fit in the Flake State?