15 July—After not seeing frogs for months, I saw one this morning. She was bathing in St. Michael’s Episcopal holy-water runoff. Must have been a Huguenot. But that’s irrelevant.

It occurs to me that many newer Monitor readers won’t have bothered to visit any of the older screeds, now known as disquisitions. Since (editorial) we are avid proponents of recycling and whereas le Quatorze Juillet was celebrated only hier and since the Fourth of July was celebrated less than a fortnight ago and whereas the French helped us in the Revolutionary War (even though that was only because they didn’t like the Brits and still don’t), herewith are some memorable comments on our bons amis, first published last September:

First, a news clip from 2003: The French Government announced today that it is imposing a ban on the use of fireworks at Euro Disney. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists.

It took Germany only three days to conquer France in WWII. And that’s because it was raining.

We must remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.

War without France would be . . . like World War II.

Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris? It’s not known, it’s never been tried.—Sen. Roy Blunt (R, MO)

The last time the French asked for “more proof,” it came marching into Paris under a German flag.—David Letterman

The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but didn’t have the face for it.—Sen. John McCain (R, AZ)

The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee.—Regis Philbin

As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure.—Jacques Chirac (Mayor of Paris, President and Prime Minister of France)

We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it.—Marge Simpson

I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me.—Gen. George Patton

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.—Gen. Norman Schwartzkopf

France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes.—Mark Twain

Editor’s note, 15 July: In the interest of objectivity and in fairness to France, according to historian Niall Ferguson, France is the most successful military power in history. And he documents his thesis!