3 January—The breaking news early this morning that Hearst Connecticut Media is likely to break some time next week (if there’s room for it) is that United States military and paramilitary operatives invaded Venezuela and captured Presidente Mientras Quiera el Trabajo (President as long as He wants the Job) Nicolás Maduro and Sra. Maduro and have whisked them off to an unspecified destination.

Donald Trump and his flunkies don’t give a damn about little inconveniences like international law and the U.S. Constitution, of course, but the Venezuela invasion operation is in fact precedented by the illegal 1989 invasion of Panama and capture of President Manuel Noriega under George Bush 41 and the illegal but justified 2003 invasion of Iraq and capture of President Saddam Hussein under George Bush 43.

But the Venezuela operation is different. Because the whole thing was devised and orchestrated by Trump and Maduro—both skilled showmen—and is being staged for public consumption. Rather brilliantly, if we may say. While the Monitor’s White House mole hasn’t been able to root out all the details, some things are clear.

First, as confirmed by the bottom picture, the Maduros are now settled in at Mar-a-Lago. Next, the fifty-million-dollar reward for Maduro’s capture has been deposited in the same Caribbean bank Maduro has his billions in. Third, the Department of Justice has withdrawn all charges against Maduro and Trump has secretly pardoned him just in case the DOJ incompetents have screwed up the paperwork.

Fourth, Trump has taken by eminent domain the swish Obama mansion in Kalorama Heights, the fanciest neighborhood in D.C. (like the axis in the Borough of Litchfield), and given it to Maduro. (The Obamas have a bigger place in Hawaii anyway.) That’s because Trump has hired Maduro as a White House advisor and needs him close at hand.

And that should be no surprise. Because Maduro knows how to win an election that even his own vote-counting technology shows he’d lost. For as long as he wanted the job. But Trump made him an offer he couldn’t refuse . . .