14 November—Now that the Trump party’s national trifecta has been established for the next two years, the good news is that the Democratic party’s unacceptable agenda has been put on hold; the bad news is simply and undoubtedly Donald Trump’s even more unacceptable politics of retribution and self-dealing. As Trump BFF Steve Bannon put it yesterday, “The hunted are about to become the hunters.”

Meanwhile, we read that Mr. and Mrs. Garth Brooks are contemplating a move to the Republic of Ireland. Presumably because Éire is a nice place to live, not for political reasons. But that reminded us of the numerous entertainers who in 2016 vowed to move out of the United States if Donald Trump got elected. Well, as far as we’ve been able to ascertain, they’re all still here. So here are the excuses of several of the nonexpatriates for not following through on their promises:

Whoopi Goldberg opined before the 2016 election, “Maybe it’s time for me to move, you know.” But after the election she changed her tune: “Just to be clear, I wouldn’t leave this country for him to piss all over, for any reason. I’ve been here since the late 1700s.” We thought Whoopi just turned 69 yesterday.

Anyway, she wasn’t “leaving the country that I was born and raised in. My family spent years trying to get the vote, and trying to do all the things that we as Americans are allowed to do. We’re allowed to protest. We’re allowed to stand up and say we disagree. Whether we agree or not, it’s OK. But you don’t get to get to tell me that I’m going. You don’t get to make that decision for me. I’m staying!”

Whoopi could have added, “We’re allowed to change out minds.”

Barbara Streisand told Australia in 2016 that if Hillary Clinton weren’t elected, “I’m either coming to your country if you let me in or Canada.” Why wouldn’t they let her in?

Anyway, not having followed up on her promise, last year she revised it: “I can’t live in this country if [you know who] becomes president,” but amended her possible destination to England. It’s closer but she’s still here.

Miley Cyrus, a Bernie Sanders supporter before she backed Hillary Clinton in 2016, proclaimed on Instagram, “My heart is broken into 100000 pieces. . . . I am moving if [you know who] is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!” Lucky she’s not a politician.

After the election results were announced, Miley magnanimously accepted you know who as president while calling on him to have an open mind. Whatever that may have meant.

George Lopez proclaimed before the 2016 election that you know who “won’t have to worry about immigration. We’ll all go back.” But he didn’t.

Amy Schumer quipped before the 2016 election, if you know who were to be elected, “My act will change because I will need to learn to speak Spanish because I will move to Spain or somewhere. It’s beyond my comprehension if [you know who] won. It’s just too crazy.”

After the election: “First of all, the interview where I said I would move was in London and was said in jest. Not that anyone needs more than a headline to count something as official news. Anyone saying pack your bags is just as disgusting as anyone who voted for this racist homophobic openly disrespectful woman abuser. Like the rest of us I am grieving today.”

Cher pledged before the 2016 election to not only leave the country, but to leave the planet: She tweeted, “IF HE WERE TO BE ELECTED, IM MOVING TO JUPITER.” Last year, still on earth, she kvetched to the press, “I almost got an ulcer the last time. If he gets in, who knows? This time I will leave.” Perhaps she should get in touch with Elon Musk.

Bryan Cranston insisted before the 2016 election, “Absolutely, I would definitely move. It’s not real to me that that would happen. I hope to God it won’t.” After the election, his tweets indicated that he was taking less extreme actions and hoping for the best.

Samuel L. Jackson, before the 2016 election, boasted, “If that motherfucker [what a thing to call a motherfucker!] becomes president, I’m moving my black ass to South Africa.” Last we read, Twitter—sorry, X—users in South Africa were still waiting to welcome him. As Siyamamukela L. Jackson.

Jon Stewart told his audience before the 2016 election that if you know who were elected he’d consider “getting in a rocket and going to another planet, because clearly this planet’s gone bonkers.” Did he get the idea from Cher or she from him? At least Stewart didn’t specify a planet. And even though he had a point about the whole planet having gone bonkers, he shouldn’t have blamed the planet for the gullibility of American voters.

So you can’t fault entertainers—or anyone else—for negativity and pessimism about Donald Trump in the White House. Or anywhere else. But the crap about leaving the country . . .