29 August—We inadvertently neglected in yesterday’s disquisition to provide the etymology of Bidens, the botanical genus as opposed to the political family. The name is derived from the Latin (of course), bis meaning “two” and dens meaning “tooth.” The botanist who taxonomized beggar’s ticks must have been particularly impressed by at least one plant’s dentition.

On to the incredibly important news, then, the notoriously mismanaged University of Connecticut, the state’s so-called flagship (public but none the less overpriced) university, where sports (as opposed to mere athletics) reign supreme and grade and pay inflation run rampant, is in talks with the Big 12 Conference about joining the Texas-based athletic association. The Big 12 currently has 16 member universities, 13 public and three private. Is that a wow or is that a wow?

UConn’s migration to the Big 12 would mean that the university that once had the distinction of being the nation’s top party school (but has since been demoted to definite loser status) would likely leave the New York-based 11-member Big East Conference, some of whose members, despite the association’s name, are neither big nor in the East. But maybe not.

U.S. Senator Christopher Murphy, who took his law degree from UConn, thinks a move to the Big 12 would be a mistake: “I’ve always believed UConn should stay in the Big East. Our athletes and fans have a great regional conference that clearly works for our highest profile sport, basketball. Chasing football relevance is a mistake. We will get burned,” he posted on X.

Does it really matter what conference UConn pays its dues to? Evidently it does. Because participation—make that membership—in any one of the incredible plethora of collegiate athletic conferences is first and foremost a matter of money money money. What can be more important in the real world, after all?

And keep in mind that the multi-million-dollar compensation for the women’s and men’s UConn varsity basketball coaches makes them the state’s highest paid employees, with too many other UConn administrators also paid far more than they’re worth.

So who cares about mere academics?

Before leaving academics, though, it must be noted that the Rev. William Spooner died 94 years ago today. A fellow of New College, Oxford, for over 60 years, including 21 years as warden (that college’s head of house), he was 86 in 1930. Spooner is best known for his delightful spoonerisms, in which vowels, consonants, or other linguistic constituents are switched—unintentionally, in his case. Some may be apocryphal. Your guess:

Instead of “Can I show you another seat,” “Can I sew you to another sheet?”

Instead of “You have missed all of my history lectures and were caught lighting a fire in the quad,” “You have hissed all of my mystery lectures and were caught fighting a liar in the quad.”

Instead of “You have wasted two terms,” “You have tasted two worms.”

And one that’s not often quoted in polite circles, instead of “There will be no kissing in the punts, gentlemen” “There will be no pissing in the cunts, gentlemen.”

Only in Oxford . . .