25 October—The good news: A not-too-bright, probably male, paper wasp had alighted on an office window screen a few days ago, presumably to get out of the rain. Not a good move, because water was dripping from the poor little guy and he didn’t look too happy. I should have taken him in, because males of the species don’t sting, to let him dry off and regain his strength. But I let him languish and drip as he tenaciously clung to the outside of the screen. Then at dusk yesterday, as I was typing today’s disquisition, he waved his little antennae and flew away. I can’t blame him for not circling to signal goodbye. In all events, Godspeed, little fellow. Stay dry!

Now the exciting news: Among the bitching, news, more bitching, gun reviews, still more bitching, and ads in the November-dated American Rifleman (the NRA’s principal magazine) for firearms and other stuff residents of Connecticut are not allowed to even dream about is a particularly colorful ad that demands special attention even though it’s not directly related to firearms. It’s for an item that’s so special, in fact, the ad advises that it’s not available in any store.

It’s for a (or perhaps The) “President Donald Trump Commemorative Talking Sculpture.” It’s a “handcrafted and hand-painted sculpture inspired by our 45^th President.” So it’s obviously a must-have.

“He offers a promise of American Greatness,” a heading proclaims.

“From the moment he was sworn into office as the 45^th President of the United States, Donald J. Trump began fulfilling his promise for expanding our nation’s capacity for greatness through the power of its will and prosperity of its citizens. Now [the purveyor of tchochkes] presents a stunning commemorative tribute to the president’s [sic and sick] leadership and legacy . . . the President Donald Trump Commemorative Talking Sculpture.”

Didn’t I say it was a must-have? And Trump ought to hire the copywriter to defend him on the 91 counts.

The magnificent sculpture is, of course, “amazingly lifelike, fully-sculpted” and “captures [the orange man’s] powerful [sic and sick] delivery as he conveys his vision of America under his leadership.” Is that insightful or is that inciteful!

And that’s not all. The figurine is “impressively sized at over 6” tall”; the “U.S Capitol building sculpture [9.5” tall, behind the orange man] displays archival photos from key moments in his Presidency [sic and sick]”; and it’s “mounted on an elegant blue base with handsome brass-toned trim and title plaque featuring President Trump’s replica signature.” That’s a wow!

Still not all—and best yet, the President Donald Trump Commemorative Talking Sculpture actually does talk. “You can “hear the ACTUAL VOICE of President Trump from his most inspiring speeches!” Were there any? Or were they all? No matter, because that’s certainly a double wow!

Truth be told, the Trump sculpture’s complexion looks more American-Indian red than presidential orange. But who cares, because the price is only $109.99 (or “four easy installments of $27.50 each) plus $16.99 shipping and service.” Service? Anything like a tip? And add another $8.06 sales tax in Connecticut, to make it $135.05, only $135.04 if you pay the whole thing up front.

That’s a real genuine bargain when you consider that Donald Trump is America’s greatest president ever. Just ask him and the suckers who will rush to order the talking sculpture—and bow down before it as they listen to their messiah rant . . .