1 August—I neglected to mention yesterday that it was St. Ignatius of Loyola’s feast day, in observance of the 467^th yahrzeit of the founder of the Society of Jewsus (a.k.a. the Jewsuits). A devoted reader whom editorial we’ll call Mme. Bowdlery (to save her the embarrassment of being identified as a devoted—and percipient—Monitor reader) chided editorial us and also suggested that having two extremely cute, totally innocent, but obviously gutsy little Scotties shout “Fuck you!” at the hulking Harlequin Great Dane in the sidebar (or before you scroll to the Daily Disquisition on a cell phone or tablet), while perhaps not inappropriate, nevertheless detracts from the gravitas of The Monitor. So she suggested that by way of penance editorial we replace the offending words with grawlix. Yes, she was serious. She knew what she was talking about, anyway.

Mme. Bowdlery insisted that she herself in no way considers the offending words to be offensive in the least and in actual fact throws around the several forms of “fuck” more casually, predictably, and regularly than every character in every program and film that’s ever been shown on HBO and Showtime, inter alia. She has a most impressive vocabulary. Too.

Grawlix, for the benefit of the incognoscenti, is a combination of dingbats (typographical symbols) and other unpronounceable characters that replaces a profane utterance in cartoons and comics. Newspapers and magazines just use asterisks in news stories and features. Of course, “Fuck you!” isn’t really a profanity at all, but simply a part of quotidian discourse. Everybody says it. All the time. Everywhere. Yes, even in church. But The Monitor will give grawlix a try anyway, since Mme. Bowdlery raised a delectable point and has been a devoted and patient reader ab origine.

Have you ever noticed, by the way, that the only curse word ever used in newspaper comics, even now, is “dang”? That’s the way it was in old movies, too, talkies for sure, probably also titles in silents. No dirty words. Nor gratuitous sex. Nor gratuitous special effects. All it took to make a great (and successful) movie back in the day—in addition to timing, cast, and luck, of course—was good writing and production.

Back to grawlix, then, you be the judge: “Fuck you!” or grawlix. Let editorial us know. Simply click on this email link: Editor@LitchfieldMonitor.com. Your only reward will be the satisfaction in telling The Monitor, “Fuck you!” Or, if you prefer, grawlix . . .