21 May—Once upon a time, folklore has it, many motorcycles didn’t have particularly bright lights, so they couldn’t easily be seen at night. For safety’s sake, then, old-time bikers made their bikes’ engines louder than cars’ engines in order to alert people and wildlife of their presence. So that’s why bikes may have been loud—at least in the good old days.

Today motorcycles still have relatively short exhaust pipes and small mufflers and size counts in noise reduction. So it’s only natural for bikes to be uncomfortably loud.

Sure it is. And with the warmer weather bringing out swarms of bugs and bikers we’ll be suffering that noise pollution for yet another season.

On the other hand, given modern sound reduction technology, no motorcycle has to put out more than a moderate, civilized purr. Every now and then, in fact, we see and (barely) hear bikes like that. From my observation, the less noisy bikes are mostly big, civilized Hondas, Kawasakis, and BMWs driven by people who don’t have to compensate for their complex inferiority by dressing and sounding like stereotypical outlaw bikers, usually in the company of others of that ilk.

I’ve also seen and hardly heard the odd Harley and even a quiet old Indian. And I remember a thirties-vintage Norton in England that purred like a kitten.

So there’s no reason at all for motorcycles to be so goddamn annoyingly, ear-shatteringly loud. Except that the assholes driving the noisome [sic] bikes prefer them that way and do whatever is necessary to achieve their essentially passive antisocial satisfaction. Most of these wannabe Hell’s Angels tend to be mature folks (i.e., old farts) who should know better. They’re entitled to their innocent fantasies. If they didn’t make so much abominable noise.

In all events, Connecticut General Statute § 14-80, from 2012, says, inter alia:

“(a) Each motor vehicle and the devices on such vehicle shall be operated, equipped, constructed and adjusted to prevent unnecessary or unusual noise.

“(b) Each motor vehicle operated by an internal combustion engine shall be equipped, except as hereinafter provided, with a muffler or mufflers designed to prevent excessive, unusual or unnecessary exhaust noise. The muffler or mufflers shall be maintained by the owner in good working order and shall be in use whenever the motor vehicle is operated. No person, including a motor vehicle dealer or repairer or a motorcycle dealer, shall install, and no person shall use, on a motor vehicle, a muffler or mufflers lacking interior baffle plates or other effective muffling devices, a gutted muffler, a muffler cutout or a straight exhaust except when the motor vehicle is operated in a race, contest or demonstration of speed or skill as a public exhibition pursuant to subsection (a) of section 14-164a, or any mechanical device which will amplify the noise emitted by the vehicle. No person, including a motor vehicle dealer or repairer or a motorcycle dealer, shall remove all or part of any muffler on a motor vehicle except to repair or replace the muffler or part for the more effective prevention of noise. No person shall use on the exhaust system or tail pipe of a motor vehicle any extension or device which will cause excessive or unusual noise.”

It must be noted and emphasized that motorcycles are in fact motor vehicles and are therefore covered by that legislation.

There’s also the federal Noise Control Act of 1972, which applies to any motorcycle made after 1983 that regulates how manufacturers make their motorcycles to ensure they don’t make them too loud.

Generally speaking, 80 to 85 decibels is as loud as bikes (and other motor vehicles and even bagpipes) should be. They can sound powerful, aggressive, and sexy without being loud and illegal.

So why the hell don’t municipal and state cops enforce the law?