COMCAST RETURNED YESTERDAY’S EMAILS AS HAVING “BAD SYSTEM DESTINATION ADDRESSES,” WHATEVER THAT MEANS; AND BTINTERNET (IN THE UK) REJECTED THE INNOCENT LINKS AS “LOOKING LIKE SPAM” AND THEN “REPORTING THEM AS SPAM.” FIRST TIME THE FORMER GOVERNMENT-OWNED POMMY BEHEMOTH HAS SLANDERED THE MONITOR. BUT PROBABLY NOT THE LAST . . .

12 February—So now to teachers. I love teachers. My mother was a teacher. My first love was learning to be a teacher in Edinburgh. My first fiancée was learning to be a teacher in Oxford. My daughter is a teacher in Southbury. I’m a pedantic prick in Litchfield, credentialed to teach at universities the world over but, never having taken a course in education, not allowed to teach in Connecticut public schools.

And—dare I admit it?—I actually have friends who are or were teachers and school administrators.

I remember when teachers were severely and shamefully underpaid and even qualified for various forms of welfare, such as they may have been back then—nowhere near as extravagant, to be sure, as the federal and state largess showered upon virtually anybody who wants it these days as an expedient to buy votes. Suffice to say, unless they have lots of dependents, Connecticut teachers no longer qualify for financial assistance.

Let me, then, turn the maieutic table on El Liberalissimo and ask him just how much he feels or thinks or knows Connecticut teachers deserve to be paid, what’s appropriate pay for the job. And why. And while he’s being specific, what does he consider to be “reasonable limits on academic class sizes”? And what about non-academic classes?

Non-human animals and probably some family-oriented bugs educate their young on life and survival skills. But in terms of people, precisely what does El mean by “everything begins with education”?

I really hate to dash El’s hopes that I believed education was the key to success. Truth be told, once I did. But in eight decades I’ve come to realize that while education certainly helps lots of people achieve success, it’s by no means the key.

Rather, the keys to success are more like self-confidence, drive, determination, persistence—and luck, lots of luck. Connections don’t hurt, either. On the other hand, we’re constantly reminded that honesty doesn’t really help. Education does indeed come into it, but not necessarily formal education. In fact, lots of formal education is just wasted on people who neither want it nor need it. Julius Caesar and Albert Einstein are not alone in crediting experience as the best teacher.

Although there’s no need for me to defend myself, where does El Liberalissimo get the idea that I spend “so much effort trying to undermine local schools rather than giving some credit to those on the front lines”? Whether El believes it or not, I don’t realize how much “damage” I do simply and obviously because I don’t do any damage at all. Then again, I’d ask El to define his terms.

Pending El Liberalissimo’s specifics and definitions, then, I can’t let this Super Bowel Sunday pass without a short quote from an article in last month’s issue of “Gastroenterology & Hepatology” (that I rescued from you know where) on fecal incontinence and defecatory disorders.

No I won’t. It turns out it’s not about snakes after all . . .