15 December—The magnanimous (yes, I’m being sarcastic) Borough of Litchfield Board of Warden and Burgesses (BOLBOWAB) was nice enough (sarcastic again) yesterday to reverse its stupid, unconstitutional, unenforceable September order and allow yellow ribbons to be tied to trees on the Green. For now.

And the motion to rescind the September stupidity included gratuitous language reminding us that the ribbons are in violation of a borough ordinance (which they’re not) and would pave the way to all manner of displays on the Green (which is possible but unlikely, based on experience of other municipalities).

BOLBOWAB, like the borough it rules with an uncompromising iron hand, is a parody of itself, but it can do virtually anything that suits its self-aggrandizing, narcissistic fancy. No kidding. Gee, narcissistic reminds you of Donald Trump, doesn’t it? Certainly not Gayle Carr, the acting warden.

But I digress. The very poorly written borough charter, as revised in 1991, makes the legislative body “a combination of a Meeting of the borough and a Board of Warden and Burgesses. Each body,” it assures us, “shall have powers as the Charter herein prescribes.” (§ C103)

Sounds great. Problem is, the ludicrous charter goes on to assert that BOLBOWAB “shall by resolution, bylaw or ordinance exercise all powers of the borough. … [and] may make, alter, repeal and enforce bylaws or ordinances. …”(§ C401) That sounds like BOLBOWAB is an almighty municipal god. And indeed it is.

So what about the “Meeting of the borough”? The only—repeat, only—functions or powers prescribed (or allowed) to the borough meeting have to do with the disposition of real estate (§ C504) and adopting the annual budget.” (§ C601). That’s all, folks.

Special meetings of the borough may be called by BOLBOWAB or forced by petition of not “less” (should have been “fewer”) than 20 electors. (§ C502) The borough code increases that to 50 signatures. (§ 23-1) A mere 20 signatures can force a town meeting. But forcing a borough meeting is a waste of time in all events, because it has no power to do anything except suggest or bitch. Any votes taken on anything but the budget (and only at the annual budget meeting, which also is the annual borough meeting) or real estate are purely advisory. All the legislative power of the borough lies in the dicktatorial [sic] hands of the masturbatory BOLBOWAB, which is not required by its act of creation to abide by entreaties of anybody it chooses to ignore.

That’s only one of the great reasons to get rid of the Borough of Litchfield. More to follow . . .