8 October—Count on Kosta Diamantis not to disappoint his adoring public. Convicted on all 21counts of bribery, extortion, conspiracy, and false statements, yet sentenced to a mere seven years up the easy river in absentia because he handily outfoxed the incredibly lenient judge and sleeping federal fuzz and skipped to Mother Greece, his lawyer has just filed a notice of appeal to the Second Circuit.

Why not? For starters, it’s not costing Kosta anything. Because taxpayers have been footing the $177-per-hour bill for the deadbeat kakopoios’s defense since he stiffed criminal defense lawyer Norm Pattis out of $65,000 but Norm, having been cajoled by the court, has been charitable enough to represent the unrepentant malakas for that piddling federal standard fee anyway.

And even though it doesn’t do a criminal defendant any good in the eyes of most [sic] appellate judges to have skipped the country (before or after sentencing, for all it matters), a defendant-appellant’s physical presence isn’t generally required for filing an appeal, just so long as it’s done within two weeks of the judgement. (Yes, Kosta was pronounced guilty as hell last October, but it’s the formal sentencing date that counts; and that was only last Friday, as specified on Norm’s notice of appeal.)

On the other hand, an appellate court can invoke the seldom-used fugitive disentitlement doctrine to dismiss an appeal while a defendant-appellant remains on the lam, refusing to hear it until he, she, it, or they return to the purview and authority of the court.

In all events, an appeal isn’t a new trial, an opportunity to present new evidence, but rather a review to determine whether the proceeding in the lower court had been a hundred percent kosher, as they say in Greece.

Realistically, can anybody imagine the Second Circuit—or any principled court—ruling for Kosta Diamantis? And that’s if—and only if—it doesn’t invoke fugitive entitlement from the get-go.

On the third hand, there’s always the very real possibility of yet another Trump pardon for yet another convicted criminal to consider. On the fourth hand, though, if Kosta and Norm could count on buying a Trump pardon, why would they waste any effort on a guaranteed unsuccessful appeal? Then again, Kosta is flat broke . . .