11 December—It’s common knowledge that Donald Trump is by far the most self-centered, self-serving, egotistical, narcissistic, corrupt scumbag ever to rule the United States. Need we be reminded that he’s a disgrace to the office of president and an embarrassment to the nation?

It’s also obvious that Trump is a past master at promoting himself. There’s all the real estate with the Trump family name on it, of course, although the Trump name has ignominiously disappeared from quite a bit of real estate since Donald’s first term in office.

Just this month, abusing his executive prerogative (as usual), Trump renamed the U.S. Institute of Peace—the institute and its building in D.C.—the Donald J. Trump Institute of Peace. That’s sure to sit well with the Nobel Committee.

Trump has suggested several times that the Kennedy Center—which he has already disgraced by replacing its worthy, competent, well-intentioned board with his flunkies who promptly elected him chairman—be renamed the Donald J. Trump Center for the Performing Arts. And that the center’s opera house be named after his wife. His congressional flunkies have already started those balls rolling.

Last month Trump suggested changing the name of the Republican Party to Tepublican or Tpublican. His obnoxious eldest son suggested Trumplican. Funny that neither senior nor junior thought of extending the portmanteau Trumpublican, which is currently used only for his lame-brained claque, to the whole lame-brained party.

Trump’s two-acre White House-dwarfing ballroom boondoggle is referred to by his flunkies as the President Donald J. Trump Ballroom.

And now it appears we’re pretty likely to see the scumbag-in-chief’s images on the three sides of a U.S.-minted coin—obverse, reverse, perverse. The 1866 Coinage Act says that living presidents or others aren’t supposed to be on U.S. coins. But the Circulating Collectible Coin Redesign Act of 2020 (passed unanimously by both Democrat-majority houses and signed into law by Trump) allows for living people on the reverse of commemorative coins, but not the obverse.

So Trumpublicans are talking about a one-dollar coin nominally commemorating the nation’s semiquincentennial, with end runs around the law as needed to get it minted. As things stand, the disgusting Trump-themed coin will be clad rather than solid fine silver or gold, surprising given Trump’s insipid predilection for gold. But you never know.

In all events, the ultimate decision on the or a Trump coin (before or after Trump dies) lies with the or a treasury secretary. Trump gave Scott Bessent that job. And even if Scott doesn’t cooperate (which is unlikely), Trump is bound to get his way. Because that’s what tyrants do.

And then there’s paper money. In February, Joe Wilson, one of Trump’s flunkies in the House of Representatives, excreted the Donald J. Trump $250 Bill Act, playing with the semiquincentennial aspect. In March, Brandon Gill, another Trump flunky, vomited the Golden Age Act of 2025, to replace Ben Franklin’s portrait on the C-note with the scumbag-in-chief’s. And in June of last year Trump flunky Paul Gosar egested the Treasury Reserve Unveiling Memorable Portrait Act to issue $500 bills devalued by Trump’s face. At least Gosar managed to come up with a strained title for his bill to enable a deplorable acronym.

But why not bring back the $500 bill? It went out of circulation in 1969, along with the $1,000 bill, essentially for lack of use, leaving the $100 as the largest denomination for public consumption. But 100 dollars isn’t worth all that much these days . . .