29 April—For all it means, 26 April 2002, a Monday, was 8,647 days ago.

So leave it to Donald Trump and his cadre of sleazy ass-kissing opportunists to come up with yet another disgraceful, distasteful, asinine way to indulge and pander to his scuminence’s unquestionable, unquenchable vanity. Even MAGA minions are laughing at Trump’s scowling portrait on passports. And even other dictators haven’t gone that far. You wonder, then, what will the megalomanical narcissist and his brown-nosing stink-tank come up with next?

It was hardly mentioned or even noticed in 2022 when mendacious far-right antisemitic white supremacist Jack Posobiec—who just happened to be a Trump admirer (and remains one)—started the “8646” ball rolling—to get rid of President Joe Biden. There were, among other ephemera, hats and tee-shirts bearing the “8646” logo. But the Biden justice department never considered prosecuting Posobiec or other Biden haters on trumped-up charges.

In 2024, Matt Gaetz, at the time a disreputable Florida Republican congressman (before he resigned after being nominated by Trump for attorney general, which was trumped by allegations of sexual misconduct and drug use), wrote about fellow Republicans who had announced their retirement or been removed: “We’ve now 86’d: [House Speaker Kevin] McCarthy, [RNC Chair Ronna] McDaniel, [Senate Minority Leader] McConnell. Better days are ahead for the Republican Party.” Was Gaetz anti-Irish too?

As it happens, the Air Canada airplane that on 22 March collided with a fire truck on the LaGuardia Airport tarmac, killing the two pilots and injuring about half the passengers, was Flight 8646. Also irrelevant, that was the first fatal aircraft disaster at LaGuardia since USAir Flight 405 had crashed exactly 34 years earlier, on 22 March 1992, with 27 fatalities.

Back to the second trumped-up persecution of Jim Comey, this time for 8647ing Trump, Acting Librarian of Congress Todd Blanche insisted, “You are not allowed to threaten the president of the United States of America. It’s not a very difficult line.” Sure. It’s totally irrelevant that there’s been a wide variety of 8647 merchandise on the market since Trump got reelected, just as there’s been 8645 merch from his first term screwing the country. And it’s all still available.

And ever-vindictive Trump and his ever-obsequious shysters know full well that the latest incredibly stupid case against Comey will be thrown out of court. But at least the orange menace will have the masturbatory gratification of what he thinks is making an arch-enemy sweat while making the taxpayers foot the bill for his vexatious litigation.

To which Jim Comey says, “Nothing has changed with me. I’m still innocent. I still believe in the independent federal judiciary. So, let’s go.”

What Comey means, of course, is “You can’t be 86ed soon enough, 47!” And we sincerely hope that Comey’s belief in the independent federal judiciary isn’t delusional and in vain since it’s been packed with unqualified Trump appointees . . .