27 November—Just before Donald Trump began plotting with his appropriately hyperbellicose warlord to invade Brasilia in order to spring disgraced former Brazil president Jair Bolsonaro—his BFF who had been convicted of the very things Trump himself would have been convicted of had not his pals on the Supreme Court sprung to his unworthy defense by nullifying America’s system of justice—he pardoned two of the very few individuals who actually deserved to be pardoned by him.

In the lavish, cleverly staged annual White House turkey-pardoning media event that’s nothing but a sham to divert attention from the cruel, inhumane abuse that turkeys and all other animals raised on factory farms are subjected to—as well as all the other crap the administration would rather not deal with in public, of course—Trump commuted the death sentences of a pair of broad-breasted white turkeys imaginatively named Gobble and Waddle through a poll conducted by Melania Trump’s office.

Truth be told, Gobble and Waddle had from their youth been destined for stardom rather than the typical fate of the 46 million American turkeys selectively bred, inhumanely raised, and savagely murdered just to be devoured by ignorant, thoughtless gluttons in specious observance of a spurious holiday. Because Gobble and Waddle were lucky as poults to have had the looks and personality (really) to be selected for the privileged “presidential flock” on a North Carolina factory farm 99.999 percent of whose inmates are destined to become Butterball turkeys.

The presidential Thanksgiving turkey pardon actually had truly humane roots as a Christmas turkey pardon when Abraham Lincoln’s youngest son, Tad, grew fond of an intended Christmas dinner and named him Jack. Tad’s understanding father spared Jack and he thus became the first fowl turkey to live in the White House. But many foul turkeys have lived in the White House since then, including the present occupant. With apologies to fowl turkeys, of course.

So much for the annual fowl turkey pardon. Trump’s massive foul turkey pardon is another matter entirely.

Like virtually all living creatures raised for meat, factory-farm turkeys are bred to “grow-to-death” so large—Gobble weighs 52 pounds, Waddle weighs 50 pounds—and so fast that their organs can barely keep up, if they keep up at all. In fact, turkeys on factory farms are so unnaturally huge that many can’t even stand up without experiencing pain. As if anybody gives a damn.

Moreover, contrary to the reprehensibly misleading whitewash slathered on the gullible, uncaring public by the White House and the National Turkey Federation, after the cameras and recorders disappear the “pardoned” turkeys suffer essentially the same fates as their less photogenic brethren. The turkeys may not find themselves stuffed on the dinner table after five months of torture, but rather than living out their short, stressful, unfulfilled, painful lives at luxurious sanctuaries, they’re actually sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau facilities, typically for no more than another six months till they die of unnatural causes, often being imprisoned in inappropriate solitary confinement and subjected to so-called “research” sponsored by the food industry.

Wild turkeys who survive predation have been known to live for ten years.

So there’s no better time than Thanksgiving to suggest several more great reasons for you to not eat turkey. Ever.

In addition to the 46 million turkeys murdered to celebrate Thanksgiving, over 600 million are murdered to be eaten by gluttons the world over just for the fun of it. Modern domestic turkeys, which are twice the size of their ancestors of less than a century ago, are selectively bred to maximize meat production and are forced to grow so big that they can’t do normal things like walk and breathe properly. And the hens are artificially inseminated. Forcibly, of course. It’s not IVF. Is that a life for any sentient being?

Like humans, turkeys form strong bonds with other turkeys, animals, and people. And like our pets, turkeys enjoy playing and are curious. And lovable. But the ones bred for you to eat never get to experience natural things like spreading their wings, running around, or being treated kindly. Let alone humanely. Does that bother you? Silly question.

Turkeys are naturally affectionate and smart. Like any animals. Wild turkeys, like the ones I photographed in my meadow, love to forage, build nests, and roam around their natural territories. Domestic turkeys bred for meat, on the other hand, are forced to live in cramped conditions inside dark sheds with nowhere to roam, forage, or build nests.

Wild turkeys enjoying the good life in Litchfield

Turkeys suffering on a factory farm

Aggressive behavior is common in those high-stress conditions. But instead of raising turkeys in less crowded conditions, greedy factory farmers reduce the risk of turkey-inflicted injury by searing off their beaks, cutting off their toes, and slicing off their snoods without anesthetics. Mutilating birds so they can’t mutilate each other? Factory farmers should be mutilated and tortured. Without anesthetics. Those bastards deserve it.

Besides being inhumane, factory farms are filthy and unhealthy. Infections are common among the turkeys, like the severe skin infection pictured here, which probably started when the victim was pecked by another stressed turkey in the cramped quarters.

Turkey on a factory farm with a severe skin infection

Electrical stunning is supposed to render the victim turkeys unconscious before they meet their maker. But the stunning actually causes epileptic-like fits. Among the so-called humane methods of slaughter are neck cutting, dislocation, gas killing, and concussion stunning.

Turkey in a killing cone praying for death

The most common form of stunning in this country is electric immobilization. The live turkeys are shackled by their ankles, which usually breaks their bones. Then they’re run along a conveyor belt through electrically charged water, which is supposed to render the poor captive birds unconscious. But often the electrical charge is too low and the victims are fully conscious as they get their throats slit by a rotating blade.

And if the blade misses, the living turkeys are dumped into scalding water anyway to loosen their feathers. Talk about being boiled alive.

The Humane Slaughter Act of 1978 requires what’s supposed to be humane handling of animals before and during slaughter. But it doesn’t apply to turkeys or chickens. And is it really enforced? Poultry birds and factory-farmed animals have virtually no legal protections. Kind of like undocumented immigrants under Trump.

The people who slaughter the animals suffer all manner of injuries, including burns, fractures, and amputations. Some even die from their injuries. Great. No problem there. Unlike their victims, those buggers certainly deserve to suffer, suffer, and suffer even more. They tend to be inhumane brutal sadists who delight in inflicting pain on their innocent, helpless victims any way they can. Kind of like ICE. And people who consume animal-based products merely encourage that inhumane, unnecessary brutality.

Keep in mind that humane slaughter simply does not exist. For any animal. Keep in mind, too, that animal-based meat is not—repeat, NOT—required in a healthy human diet and that there are very tasty plant-based and other non-slaughter meat alternatives that are also healthier than cruelly manufactured animal-based meats.

And don’t forget that turkey meat wasn’t even served at the first alleged Thanksgiving dinner . . .

Savor the flavor of cruelty